Awake At Night

and the clock keeps tick tick ticking its way toward oblivion.  my insomnia is starting t become serious.  serious enough that i am blogging about it.

enter day four of catching up with tomorrow and things are dreamy, even though the light is harsh and real, and obviously well rested. 

splash water on my face and smudge makeup over my eyes.  now i look awake.  now i look fresh.

tick tick ticking

out the door.  feets dont fail me now.  early on day four still, and the morning joggers have emerged, i can smell their sleep on them, like sex, coming in waves as they pass me, chipper, alive and awake.

am i even alive anymore?  the cashiers face at the tea house barely changes expression as she accepts my money and then hands me a caffeine soake soy chai latte.  when in rome.....

walk.  walking.  people.  mothers with children, men from the office, house wives running errands, college kids rushing around, gutter punks begging for money.  i talk to all of them. i really do.  ut thy wear watches and, well, you know...

tick tick tiking.

time has changed and it gets darker later and as dusk draws to a close and night sets in i almost forget i cant sleep.  cant sleep.  pop eight tylenol sinus pm.  chase with a couple valium, the bottom of a bottle of whiskey. 

tick tick ticking

i am still here.
happyhooker happyhooker
26-30, F
Mar 13, 2007