What Keeps You Awake

I've wondered what keeps me up at night but its not hidden. Its all the pain and hurt with its continuation. I've always wondered if it will ever end or will it just go away... thats not likely because it is another thing that circulates my mind. thinking about it makes me loose out in the night rest that i so need but is not getting on a daily basis sometime the wounds resurfaces and that formulates a teary situation for hours that doesn't initiate the eyes to shut but water or leakages of water that contains enzymes:lyzozymes that are being lost and is escaping the body... it forms a ocean or sea of tears that is not a great feeling but one that keeps me up at nights. if for once or 1 day i can actually get 1 night's rest how lovely that would be. but that doesn't seem like the case with my situation. the weight of it just goes beyond its recognition. all the deep pains and wounds it causing a havoc and frightful battle between what is wrong and right in my mind and with that said my brains just can't seem to take a break in the night to allow for a good night's rest. all the massive confusion, hurtful wrds and rumors had made such a deep scared wound that its so inevitable just to lay in bed awake or just looking at the window or ceiling which doesn't make me any sleepier or even a convincement to my eyes to shut... insomnia is not a nice thing especially when alot of things are bothering you at night. insomnia hunts me it sucks the life out of me.... being tired all the time is not a good practice or habit but what can i do when i cant sleep? i cant just continue to sit and do nothing with the exhaustion of my brains at nights... its a costly thing that doesn't benefit it just takes away the time of resting and  fills it with wishful thinking of a reality that might not even come... my imsomnia is critical... i wish it would just go away.......... and i would finally rest and get a good night's sleep....