Hi

You need to talk to someone and get help. Don't hold it back for another day. I have my own issues too trust me and I have been in denial for too long now and although it took some time, I am finally getting help. Problem is we get too comfortable with it and it becomes our way of life, we get used to it and its all we know and well it makes us feel better..as stupid as people may look at it - for us, its a relief, it makes us feel good to do those things. I think a big problem is we are too ashamed or afraid to open up about it to anyone so we bottle these feelings up inside and we hold it there. Maybe we are afraid that people will critisize, insult or patronize us or think we are strange. We just need support, an outlet to vent out our feelings and try to talk to someone that has the same issues or someone who wants to help and heal us. You need to open yourself up more to someone who cares. Lives get saved. You have to know that. Believe in yourself. I hope things have looked up for you. All the best xo

I'm like you - only I'm 71 - and I always wasn't a "social pariah". I had to take some time off and learn to love myself - it's the only way to be able to attract someone. When we think sadness and depression and aloneness, that is what we send out into the consciousness of the world. Our thoughts are real and they become things. During this year of study, I have learned a lot about this. If you are interested, send me a PM - and we can discuss it. If we think sadness - it is like a boomerang and comes back to us and we get caught up in a whirlwind of it. We have to find ways to learn new paths of though. It takes only 1 second to change a mind. Mox