Curb Line

When I was a tiny tott, my mother once was getting us in her sedan, she first put my brother in leaving me at the grill standing on the curb. Rushing ever so frantically she, was flailing about ...trying to get his flintstone toes at rest. Ever so patiently I waited my ingress to the Deville, (like two and a half minutes )however long it was, it felt like an eternity ... she shuts the door hops in the front seat and fired up the beast we called "betsy". Our chariot received this name do to the dashboard prayers of pleading "please... just one more mile ", marking the lint in pockets, during our fuel crisis. So... with three lucky taps to the top of the wheeler, she bites her lip and turns the key...VvvvRooom! All eight cylinders make their throw, growling for more... out of pure elation, she whips the mirrored visor down, checks her lips, and throws the kitty into gear. Now... I am also in amazement of no sentence enhancing verbage what so ever, I am soon riddled in fear..."Is she really going to leave me"? She backs the tug boat up, all twenty feet pass me, she throws in to D as I am seeing my reflection fun housing in the paint and chrome, we looks over and waves, at me... Then it registers to her I am not in the car ... *Rrrr* she brakes and a squeal belches as she throws it in reverse ... Now tears are racing my reflection cheeks as I am frozen in fear, I don't dare leave the curb. She yells, "spanky...get in"! Still I remained gargoyle'd. She literally needed to get out to get me. Unamuzed now, she puts Betsy in park, and tares me from the curb, o_Oh! I thought... double negative occurred... how I was managed so poorly... This moment forever changed the landscape of my flight or fight responses. From that point on, I was ingrained with fear of abandonment. Here I am at middle to late age, still effected ...
DreamChariot DreamChariot
41-45, M
1 Response May 6, 2012

Whoa that is awful! I'm wondering if she emotionally was there for you growing up and if this was a sign that she wasn't aware of your feelings much. Hugs to you!