Living With Your Mother In Law Should Be Against The Law!!!

I have been married for 12 years to my husband and we have lived together for over 18 years. He is Iranian and all of his family still lives in Iran; so when I was pregnant with our twins 5 years ago he thought it would be nice to apply for a Green Card for his mother.... Little did I know about the law that states that to maintain a Green Card in this country - one must spend 6 or more months of each calendar year here in the US. She was given a green card and arrived when my twins were 3 weeks old and MY LIFE HAS BEEN HELL EVER SINCE SHE STEPPED OFF THE PLANE. She is a narcistic, manipulative woman. My husband came to this country when he was 16 1/2 and he is 51 now. There were many years in which he had not seen or lived with his mother; she shows him this loving caring side. BUT when he's at work - she has a completely different side... She has a comment for everything, it doesn't matter what the topic is, I cannot ask her anything without her running to my husband. You would think at 73 years old she would be a loving woman, she is so critical and play so many games. I can sit across from her at breakfast and have her tell me every sun spot, blemish, vein and freckle on my face. She loves to remind me of how much weight of gained, and if I loose weight... the comments become you look horrible your face is much too thin. Buy her a gift, not the right size, color or fabric... whatever happened to just saying thank you.... I certainly am not always pleased with the gifts that my in laws send from Iran - but I try to put on my best smile and say thanks! THE WORST PART IS MY HUSBAND - yes, he is the only son and his father is deceased. He is such a Mama's boy - he can never just tell her that she is out of line - Instead, I get the pep talk that we are the host to his mother and she is in our home... I get that but when you have a narcistic, manipulator who turns every sentence around and never shows her true face to her son what am I to do? I feel if I want any normalcy in my life I need to separate from my husband. When she gets upset over the slightest thing she throws a tantrum and a manipulation strike and hangs out in her bedroom upstairs for weeks at a time refusing to eat meals with the family downstairs. Then my husband feels sorry for her and ends up taking her side because he feels so bad that she is spending day & night upstairs; she does this to deflect from what she has done - he just ends up feeling sorry for her. This woman is ruining my marriage and my husband is just going along for the ride - he never seems to be able to stand up to her and put her in her place. She tells him she wants to go back home and I beg him to send her home and he just keeps her here and we are all miserable. I am not sure who is the bigger problem.... my mother-in-law or my husband. I always thought he was a good husband and father (he raised my two children from a previous marriage as his own). I always thought that I had married a wonderful man with a wonderful heart, I cannot believe that this woman is his mother. I cannot believe that he allows her to treat me so disrespectfully in our home infront of our children. I pray that I will not ever do this to any of my children or their spouses.
agitatedbeyondbelief agitatedbeyondbelief
1 Response May 19, 2012

I agree 100%! Living with the MIL should be against the law!!! Mine has lived with us for 3 years and I am stressed out having to even look at her!!!!!