At a Loss
I have been with my husband for 15 years now and married for 12 of it. Anyway his mother never liked me from the beginning. She kept trying to convince my husband back then to leave me cause I wasn't good enough. As the years have gone by, we started having kids, getting married, and then the nasty gossip crap had happened that I was accused of saying things about everybody, when in actuality I didn't talk to anybody. My husband has 3 sisters and 1 brother. I have only 1 sister. His family likes to compete with each other especially the 'Keep up with the Jones'. Well back when my husband and I were setting a date to get married we had planned a day that had meaning to us. Well it was known that my husband's family didn't care for me due to what his mom was telling everyone so we didn't care about having our wedding on a weekday. Well that created such an uproar that his mom and dad drove 3 1/2 hours to take us out to dinner and then chew me out in the restaurant our how selfish I was being for having my wedding on a weekday. I never got to eat the whole hour she was chewing me out due to I was crying the whole time. Sadly to say after the @ss chewing I eventually gave in to shut her up and had our wedding on a weekend. She has always made sarcastic & or demeaning remarks and I ended up breaking off ties for a few years. But 9 years ago my husband's father passed away due to cancer. So on his father's deathbed my husband said he would help take care of his mom when needed. Mind you my MIL is horrible with money and ended up in a few financial downfalls. We can get along for short visits and over the phone but I can not stand her living with us......Yep she is living with us because I stupidly agreed and thought well maybe she had changed... NOPE!!! Plus one of my SIL is living with us too. This is the part I don't know what to do about. The SIL has 2 dachshunds (barking rodents that poop & pee in the house), the female is 3+ years, the male is 1+ yrs. MIL & SIL want to breed 'rodents' again and I keep saying NO MORE LITTLE DOGS IN THE HOUSE. The 'rodents' stay in MIL room which is the Masterbedroom (and now it stinks from all the accidents). I want the little dogs GONE! They have lived with us for a year now and their 'rodents' always bark at us in our own house. They complain when I put their dogs outside for hours with shade and water. They have not trained their dogs and refuse to train them making excuses that they are stubborn dogs and don't train well. Oh & to top it off the male dog bit one of my friends' kids and they blamed the kid. The MIL does not help pay for any bills or food but gladly leaves lights on even when she has left the room for hours and eats and then runs to room. SIL pays little rent so she isn't the problem there. And stupidly I let MIL have her stuff in house due to DH & I thought our house in CA would sell and we would start building our dreamhouse in MT. That went wrong too, house didn't sell, so financial bind ourselves, filed bankruptcy to get rid of CA and debt. So now stuck in sharing house with MIL, her stuff all over, dogs messing and barking, raising 4 kids, and cooking & cleaning for 8 people. Problem is husband doesn't like saying anything to his Mother, and when he does she puts guilt trip of she is a burden. And she claims to be a perfectionist but doesn't help out with cleaning unless it is taking my stuff out of the house and puts it in storage. She belittles my kids, she waits for them to get home from their game or function and tells them to do their chores when she has been home all day sitting on her big butt. She doesn't help with anything just throws out snide remarks and to top it all off, my husband had asked me to just let things roll off my back and not 'nag' to him about his mom & sis. Also she pissed me off so bad earlier this year that I took off for 10 days stupidly leaving my kids and missed Mother's Day with them. So to be a 'good wife' I just bite my tongue and do my thing... So what do you think I should do??? I do love my DH just really despise his selfish ungrateful mother. And her cooking is not that great when she cooks 1 day out of the week.