Vice Twice Voiced

I just had a thought that I wanted to share: A person who has issues with one of their parents almost always has issues with the other parent too. My reasoning is that if a person has one F***ed up parent, then their other parent would be f***ed up too. Think about it - what kind of person marries (or has a kid with) a f***ed up person?
MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
3 Responses Jul 18, 2010

Gorgeous imagery eyesofatragedy, absolutely beautiful. A good prayer might be "May they have all the happiness they can without causing harm to others."... I'm not there yet, the wounds are too fresh.<br />
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Mobius Trip - I moved out a few months ago. I've spent enough time waist-deep in hate to know how ugly it is. At the same time, anger is a natural part of grief. I'm moving towards forgiveness.

I agree... dysfunction loves company. The lesser of two evils is still evil.<br />
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I'm not a fan of burning bridges, but there are some humans in the world who, like you said, cannot be saved because they don't want to be saved. They are consumed by an unhealthy addiction. So, in the end, there's nothing you can humanly do as long as they stay in that mindset. <br />
As to how someone could let themselves be that blind, I can't quite understand as I am more self-aware. People who genuinely do want to help these people are only going to be bit.<br />
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The only thing I believe I can do for them is pray. Even at that, it's hard, as these people have tendencies to pain and poison all those around them. They are like creatures with tainted windows for eyes and measured, manipulative steps, walking through the Garden... turning all innocently blushing flowers to deadened dust. <br />
Stay away.

Everyone's f***ed up mom is different. In my case, my parents are willing to make any sacrifice to protect the lies they tell themselves, and they not only have no desire to ever change or grow as people, but they're actually willing to fight hard to NOT have to change as people. My mom may be "mild" as far as covert narcissists go, but she's still a covert narcissist - she can never change. Out of all the children of narcissists I've seen, my dad is probably the most pathetic, servile, helpless slave I've ever seen - he could change if he wanted to, but he doesn't. <br />
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You're right that we're all a little f***ed up, but that also means that we're all a little beautiful. My parents both gave up the use of their free will in one way or another - my mom's a slave to her baser desires, and my dad's a slave to my mom. Their actions are continually in line with selfishness, evil, destruction - their actions have connected them with darkness, and they've become so wrapped in it that their human spirit's been sealed in obsidian. They can't be saved, nor can they ever want to be saved. <br />
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There's nothing I can do to help them - my eyes are open now, I see too clearly to ever fill the roles that they would have me fill (this was the only way I could "help" them). I won't exist within their lies anymore, and thus I can't be near them, much less help them.<br />
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Anyway, thank you for asking that question - it felt good to write those things out. I hope my answer helped you in your grappling match, and I hope you find (or found) an answer that resonated with your heart.