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She's More Of A Friend - And Not A Very Good One

*sighs*   I had a birthday recently. I had to call my mother about some upcoming plans.  Called her on my birthday. 

She did not tell me "Happy Birthday."

I called her again later to discuss some things, again, nothing.

I called her the day after my birthday.  She answered the phone, "Oh Hi, Happy Birthday!  I realized last night that I talked to you twice and never said Happy Birthday!" 

"I know,"  I said.

"Oh, are you mad at me?"  she said.

"No, it's just a birthday....not a big deal"  I said.

And really, it's not a big deal. 

But on the other hand, she gave birth to me. She can't even remember to say Happy Birthday?

In the world of mommy issues, mine aren't that big.  My mom is fun, smart, easy to talk to about many things. She gave me a good childhood, a good life.

But she's just not a very good mom.  I want a mom.  Always have.  Someone who will just take care of things without being asked or needing a whole lot of fanfare.  A mom who wants to be a good grandmother.  Wants to have the grand kids, be a part of their lives.  

I realize it's just not who she is.  I sometimes wonder if my expectations are unfair to her.

But really, I don't think it's too much to hope for your own mother to remember to tell you Happy Birthday. 

deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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Happy Birthday, sweetie!!! *hugs Taken so tight, squishes boobies*<br />
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I don't have any advice. This is one topic I have no friggin clue what to say. We are all brought up to love our parents. I adore my Dad; detest my Mom. End of story. And you've read my story about it... so...<br />
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*runs to get birthday cake... lights up birthday candles* Make a wish, sweetie...

I think I'd feel the same way, th.

Im so sorry that you have that kind of relationship with your mother Taken. Ive seen my daughters ith her motehr erode over the years and I can understand. My wifes mother can be completely and utterly thoughtless at times too.<br />
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On the lighter side. All I could think of was the movie Sixteen Candles. Did you at least get the cake with Jake at the end. Ill be your geek if you want....Farmer Ted.

It is sad when mothers aren't good at being mothers. I generally don't agree with applying the archetype to everyone that gives birth, but if you decide to raise a child, you should do the best you can by them. That definitely includes remembering to tell you happy birthday.