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We'll Probably Never Get Past It

Every since I was a small child, there has been an invisible wall between me and my mother. It's a strange form of rejection, being cared for from a distance, but still living in the same house. I won't say why the rejection became apparent, because it's very personal to me, but I was only 6 or 7, maybe younger, when it started. Everytime I try to bridge that gap, it only gets worse through other issues. I'm starting to believe it's a lost cause, just let it go. Let the thought of having a normal relationship with her, fade into the distance.
Infinite9 Infinite9 66-70, F 5 Responses Jun 27, 2011

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When I was 16 I was going out the door to sing for a talent show at school and mom says to me " You are going to make a fool of yourself." Is that a nice thing to say ? Well, I won the talent show and became professional and not have songs on iTunes....

I know how you feel. you always think mothers and daughters should be close. that they should have some kind of a bond that can only get stronger over the years. but thats not always the case. sometimes, mothers reject their daughters and daughters are left wondering 'what did i do wrong?' and the questions just keeps eating away at you because you just cant find an answer that makes sense...

You have to understand that some people arnt cut out to be mothers. Just bc a women pops a person out of her dosent mean she's ready to be a mom. And you have to understand that it's not your fault. My youth worker said that to me when we were talking about how my mother abandoned me on my aunts steps. She said that no matter what you need to learn to forgive her for what she's done bc all aspects of sociology and psychology say that a bad relationship with the mother leads to the future relationships faceing difficulty.

I think you're right, 100%.

I absolutely understand where you're coming from and how you're feeling. My mother never has a kind word about me nor does she have any interest in my life. She's more concerned about the latest celebrity gossip or what her neighbors down the street are doing. If I try to approach her about this, she shuts down and ignores me.<br />
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Sometimes, I try to rationalize why she is the way she is. Neglected by her parents. Unloving, unfulfilling marriage. But she's just mean. She's in denial about everything. She thinks her and I are best friends. I become more depressed after each visit and half the time I cry on the way home. I will never have a good relationship with her and it's very hard for me to come to terms with that.<br />
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Thank you for sharing your story.

I understand this. Some of them are jealous of daughters. Hang in and maybe limit time over there. Look I love you HUGS

I know how you feel. It is much the same with my mom. I haven't heard her say "I love you" or even so much as a hug since I was very young. I can barely even remember it. And I am my own cheering squad as well! My dad and I haven't been close either (pretty much an absentee parent) so I have noone to rely on but myself. The last time I tried to share something with my mom, a major accomplishment I had made, her reply was "you suck". Who says that to their kid? I mean yeah, I'm in my thirties now but come on! She acts like it's a joke, because she is not doing so well in life herself But joking or not, that's hurtful.