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At My Wits End

First off, I found this site while looking for support groups/ rehab for my mother. At this moment, I am her last resort before being homeless. She has alienated everyone else in her life and has, literally, no one left to use.

My mother and I have never been close. She did not raise me as a child, my Grandma & an aunt did. I was always lower on her list of priorities, unless I accomplished something great that she could brag about. I lived with her, maybe, 5-6 years total out of 17 years.

Huge backstory cut short, she has always had an addiction of some sort, hard drugs, alcoholism, and now prescription pain pills. I think she may have had a problem when she originally started taking them, but now the problem lies with her being out & then going through withdrawals. She believes she is in tons of pain, to where she says she can't work & has not worked in 4 years. She gets her pills between the hospital & off the street from strangers who feel sorry for her pain.

At this time, she is living with me and my family. Today is the 3rd day. She has been in so much pain/ withdrawal that she has been in her bedroom only to come out for smoke breaks, bathroom breaks & to eat junk food (mostly). Since she can't bear to be without the dog, I have been taking care of her dog. I have also been the one cleaning up after her house-broken dog. When I moved her stuff from the last place she was living, with no electricity, I didn't think to ask "Do you have roaches?". It never occured to me. Today, after the dog pooped on my clean kitchen floor, next to my 14 month old daughter, then peed on the rug & pooped again on another rug, and after I discovered the roaches & killed about 6 of them on the kitchen floor, she apologized to the DOG because she thought I was being mean to it since I made him go outside!!! Not once did she offer to clean up her own dogs mess, feed him, make sure he had water, walk him, etc. She never even apologized to me for me having to clean it up! I am beyond exasperated. There is so much more to this than I ever will have time to type. I just want to know that there is some one else out there going through this & that I am not alone. I can't even talk to my husband about this because he will throw her out & she will be on the street.
BoogieLove BoogieLove 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2012

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I understand that she is your mother, but there is a point where you are not responsible for her anymore. Especially because she is not appreciative. It would be a different story if she was thankful. You can't make yourself miserable. You don't deserve it!
You don't owe her anything... I honestly think that children don't owe parents anything. Especially parents like yours and mine. We don't ask to be born and I hate this 'life is a gift' bullshit. It can be a gift but it can be a curse too and more than often is.