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Mother..

My mother has always seemed to hate me, and hell she has said it before shes said a lot of things i'm miserable to be around, i am a *****, i am a freak, i am always a disappointment a failure, i am always the bad guy to her, just because i don't agree how she treats me, my fiance or my friends is o k, just because i don't go along with her every whim, its NOT o k to punch, nearly strangle, hit, push, or kick your child, its not o k to just kick them out of your car in the middle of nowhere which has a few possible outcomes
A i have no idea where i am how to get back home or to school i get even more lost and in big trouble when she actually found me.
B i know where im at but schools too far away from me, i walk back home and get in trouble for skipping
C I am to far away to go back home i walk to school but get in trouble for being late by both the school and my mother.
she picks all the locks to my room or to the bathroom when i was showering claiming it was alright since it was her house,

when i was having a panic attack a flashback a nightmare when i was struggling shed hit me tell me i was being a baby locked me in my room...she used to not feed me even i would steal or beg for food
remarried to a abusive drunk...

am i really the bad guy here mother? am i?
bloodredhanded bloodredhanded 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2, 2013

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Know this ......IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! some people should never have children and I mean never. No I will say it again, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT and don't ever intertain the idea or thought that it was. You were a child and deserved better much better. You are of an age now to make your own decisions and your health and safety is important, you are important and have a right to protect yourself. Please be safe.
Flashbacks are shattering and I see my friend wake up with them and she needs to be comforted and made to feel safe. I am really so sorry you have had this kind of a life.