My jealousy issue is driving the best relationship i have in my life to the brink of an end.

I just cannot trust. I've tried. I've been trying my hardest to change and try trusting but I keep failing to do it.

If I had a chance I do not want to be me. I am hurting the love of my life. I never have had a peaceful relationship because of the trust and jealousy issue.

All because of my dad, perhaps even other male figures in my childhood, I learned that all men in this world are despicable. They are not to be trusted. Friends are alright, but not intimate relationships. They must not be trusted.

Why? Do I choose to be like this? No I don't. Why don't anyone ever give me a chance and time to re-learn how to trust? I am punishable already by not being able to trust and it hurts me so much.

This feels too miserable. Imagine the only thing that you want the most (love) in life is also the thing that destroys you. This is me. My ******* life.
SapphireSol SapphireSol
31-35, F
4 Responses Dec 21, 2014

Okay. this issue is best taken in steps. I've been addressing my own issues and training myself not to act on the jealousy, specially toward the boyfriend.

you will be fine.
I understand
Acknowledge the script within you..
Is it wrong?
thinking 'All men are like this'
Change it if it is.
No body is stopping you.
Only you are.
It is very easy to change.

Calm down.. everybody once in a while is going through
one get jealous because one is keeping so much of expectations.. and i cannot tell that is bad.. since i too finding it hard to control most of the time... but communicating will always work good in clarifying if that is needed or not

read on:

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~ Pema Chodron

Nine out of ten times when I feel paralyzed, it’s because I doubt myself.

Sometimes I doubt my knowledge—whether I truly know enough to move forward. Sometimes I doubt the choices I’ve already made, as if I can somehow find a sense of control in rehashing what I’ve done and deciding how to do it better in the future.

Other times I doubt my instincts. I think I know what’s right for me, but my mind decides to split and take sides, creating a nagging sense of internal conflict over what I actually want to do.

I’ve mostly dealt with this as it pertains to my dreams, and it’s partially because I’m terrified of doing the wrong thing and somehow ruining everything I’ve been working toward. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, or make the wrong decision and then have to take responsibility for the outcome of my choice.

It feels easier not to choose at all.

But what I’m learning is that there is no such thing as “wrong.” The only wrong choice is not making one. That’s not to say we’ll always create the outcomes we visualize. But maybe that isn’t the point.

Maybe the point is to learn to be less afraid of leaping, knowing that the net may not always appear, but the fall will never be far enough to do any lasting damage.

Doubts are just an inevitable part of life. The important thing is that we act in spite of them.

“How do you overcome doubts?” I compiled some of the 100+ responses that resonated most strongly with me. They include:

1. Think, “In a thousand years who’s going to care?” ~Shaec Cooper

2. Focus on the good in your life, reflect on your past achievements, and look to your mentors and all they have achieved. ~Tiscanny Derksen

3. Tell yourself, “If I don’t try then I’ll never know. Don’t doubt yourself. You are a perfect example of talent and beauty.” ~Annie Pryatel

4. My mantra for this year: My abilities will always outweigh my doubts. The moment when I think I can’t is the moment that I can.” ~Lissa Rae

5. The moment you feel it creeping in, it’s time to act. Get involved and let experience prove you wrong. ~Hector Peguero

6. Acknowledge them but don’t invest in them. Then move on. ~Ray Benoit

7. Ask where the doubt stems from. Is it your intuitive self or your fearful self? Ask that question and listen to the very first thought that comes into your head. Believe that one. ~Wendy Chadwick

8. When in doubt, zoom out. If you doubt all the time, you need to zoom out to the big picture. ~Mary Mecca

9. Ask yourself, “What will happen if I doubt this doubt?” ~Gareth Stubbs

10. What’s the worst that could happen if you do what you feel doubtful about? Is that something you can deal with? Then do it! Most of our worries are a waste of time. What will happen, will happen. ~Kate Roselund

11. Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. ~Roze Quartz

12. Learn to live with them comfortably. ~Esteban Cabral

13. Realize that doubts are fear, and fear is: Forgetting Everything’s All Right. ~Sherri Levy

14. The doubtful vibe that you send out into the universe will only create more doubt. Refocus and believe. ~Tiffany Helton

15. Breathe. ~Marti Erickson Chamberlain

16. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. Doubt is only a thought and feeling, nothing to resist. ~De-stress Your Success

17. Notice that a doubt is just a thought and don’t believe in it. ~Rami Liesaho

18. See doubt as a means to improve yourself. Break through the barrier of doubt to better yourself. ~Deepak Soowamber

19. You have to walk through them, and it sometimes turns out your doubts were well-founded. You aren’t guaranteed a “good” outcome but there is treasure even in a “bad” outcome if you know how to look. ~Alyson Irvin

20. Start with love. Be still with love. And work through with love. ~Pamela Paraison

Are you dealing with any doubts right now? What’s helping you move past them?

It's difficult to trust when life has been one disappointment after another. A year ago I was at the edge of sadness and losing hope fast. Now, with the help of the Almighty and friends, especially those online, I see some light. May you experience some of the same good fortune I've enjoyed.

I hope so. Thank you.