The thing with jealousy is that it eats you inside out. You feel there is something amiss with how hungry he seemed for her in that photo. That tiny grain of bad feeling nags you until you begin creating stories in your mind which call for urgent validation. You scour whatever you can get your hands on for clues. The plot thickens. The story unfolds in your mind. What is that about? You dare not ask. Jealousy is coupled with pride. By asking, you expose your vulnerability. You will not hand defeat on a silver platter. He controls your life but you leave a little for yourself by not letting him know that he does.

You feel ugly and rotten. Stress takes away beauty and clothes you with a black veil. No amount of beauty product can substitute for radiance coming from peace of mind and true happiness. You know with jealousy and pride, you lost these.

You decide it is too much. You forfeit his power in controlling your life. You focus on improving yourself and living well. You free yourself from obsession by spending time with people who have more difficult issues and helping them recover. By extending a helping hand, you get well and better. It's a long process but you finally feel joy from within. You feel radiant again. You shine. You fly. Everyone around you shines and flies, too.

After reclaiming your identity, you see him again. He feels you have changed. You're still warm, beautiful, happy, and caring but different. He, too, has pride. He does not ask you for reasons and details but his eyes say that he's dying to know.

He somehow figures it out and repackages himself, if only to give you the reassurance that you needed yesterday.

You appreciate the effort. Surprisingly, it doesn't matter that much to you as it should have.

You smile.

You worked so hard for this freedom.

You deserve to be happy.
VinylEyes VinylEyes
70+, F
Apr 1, 2015