growing up, i have always dream of having a great and lovely family, a house that designed to my taste and an activity that consists of driving my kids to school and making sure they're safe,and then i can go on doing grocery shopping with my friend do some chitchatting and maybe a littlw tea time together and then pick up my kids, go home and cook lunch in a clean and organized kitchen. making sure my house clean and pretty. playing with the kids in the garden or maybe watching tv in the living room and wait for my husband to come home and we can have some dinner together in the dining room.
i saw few of my friends got married and living the life of my dream (plus the can do branded shopping anytime they want).
but me, on the contrary, i don't have a decent house, i don't have a decent kitchen and i live in my bedroom only since it's the only decent room in the house that i share with my husband family. and i constantly need to borrow my parents car when i want to do things on my own. my husband doesn't provide me car, and if i have something i wanna do, he can drive me, but i hate the fact that i don't have the privacy, bcz i need to tell him exactly what i wanna do, where i wanna go, and i need his approval on doing so.
i get so jealous when other husbands have the conscious on providing those kind of things to their wife without being asked.
my jealousy gets even worse when my husband said that i'm luckier than his sister, who already has an almost-finish-being-built house that designed to her liking, has been provided with a car and she can even choose to drive or to be driven by driver.
i don't think i'm lucky because i need to ask really hard with a fight involved for those things and i still haven't had any of those until now.
i can't even say that i hate my house that i'm living with him out loud. it's so ugly, so not livable, and makes me wanna cry everytime i close my eyes everynight and when i open my eyes every morning.
i'm so filled with jealousy that my life doesn't go the way i wanted it to be while others living my dream.
fyi we're not poor. we actually can move house anytime we want, but we cannot because my husband's family really love that house and they placed us there to be in charged for looking after the house. but i cannot do anything to the house since it's designed to my in law's liking. the house is also doubled as his sister business headquarter which doesn't really go anywhere bcz her main reason for working there is for killing time only bcz she cannot get along with her in law that spoiled her daughter too much. ha, so i'm trapped here.
iniminimanimo iniminimanimo
26-30, F
Oct 29, 2015