Long Road To Recovery...

I don't know where to begin, and I figure writing a blog about my kidney cancer will help me accept the fact I have been diagnosed with this condition. It hasn't hit me yet... what 22 year old thinks they'll get cancer. I got the news on my birthday, just last week on Wednesday it was all confirmed. I didn't know what to think.

How I come to find it ... I just got back home from my friend Ebony's house. As I got out of the car I was screaming in pain and passed out. My dad happened to be out the front of the house when this happened and parents being parents rushed me to hospital. The hospital thinks straight away I have kidney stones and run the relevant tests. I told my dad Joey to go home and don't bother waiting for me ... the public system is a lengthy process and for a 10 min patch up job, you'd be waiting 8 hours.

But ... 8 hours wasn't the case this time, within one hour I had doctors and surgeons wanting to rush me in for scans after they received my blood test results... all I could think was 'great, just wasting time for kidney stones'. The hospital admitted me for the night, and I was getting tests, probed and scanned all night. WTF was going on?? No one would tell me and all I wanted to know is what the hell was going on. I was starting to get uneasy about it all.

2 days later, i finally get released after getting told the following "K, your free to go home, we found something on your kidney that looks suspicious but we'll send you in for more extensive testing" ... so i said "how much more testing can one get for stones? just tell me what's going on, please" ... to which the doctor said "we found cancer on your right kidney, don't worry about it to much, we'll get it fixed".

GREAT!!! what am I supposed to think ....
just have to wait for the further scans ... which i went for on 3rd February, 2010 ... my 22nd birthday ... and all was confirmed ... I have cancer on my right kidney ... but in some sick twisted way, the blood flow isn't connected to my kidney properly which means that the cancer can't really grow! I was stoked at that news.... heartbroken about the other news.

But it's been a week since i got my results and I haven't accepted it yet, i don't think. I have my moments where I think **** I have cancer, but it hasn't sunk in yet... everyone around me is crying like im dying and im smiling like im living ... i feel like i don't know what to do, or am i blocking it all out. I cry about it and get angry and then the next i'm laughing like not a thing in the world is wrong.

I go to the specialists again next week to see what to do next ... i'm scared but i'm not.

I have been thinking why me? I'm the one that's always been there to help out people in the first second, i'm the one that runs my family household (my mum has Multiple sclorosis) , i'm the oldest child so i'm meant to look after my siblings, and i just cant but think bad stuff about this whole situation. Why me?!! I'm so confused :/

I don't want people's sympathy, and I want them to understand i'll be fine. I know all my friends and family care, but i'm going to be ok.

draga2010 draga2010
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 10, 2010

I hope all is going well for you. i only just read your story and i can see it was dated over 2 years ago. good luck and my best wishes for you.

Thanks for the well wishes =) ... it does mean alot and I know i'll be ok x

I had a scare when I thought I had kidney cancer. I get alot of kidney infections and one doctor said he saw a mass, but the others didn't confirm it. I take it day by day.<br />
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Good luck...I am so sorry.