Working Through My Feelings About Sharing My Husband

I am married to a very sexy hot and horny man. My husband and I are very close and have a great friendship in addition to a wonderful marriage.  We are, in every sense of the word, best friends as well as husband and wife.  This marriage is everything I've ever wanted.  He's very happy, too.  We've recently admitted to one another that we're open to exploring adding other women to our relationship in a strictly sexual way.  We've made some rules and agreed to adhere to them at all times.  If either of us become uncomfortable, we return to our traditional marriage. 

A few weeks ago, he started seeing our next door neighbor.  It was perfect and it enhanced our sex life remarkably.  This was exactly what I thought it would be.  She's older, yet hot enough to turn him on.  She also works on a schedule that compliments mine, leaving her available for him.  Things were great...until he decided to begin playing with her 20 year old daughter, too!  The daughter is really hot.  I don't think that's the issue.  I have more of an issue with the things they were doing together.  With J (the mom), it seems that he has sex with her and REALLY gets off telling me about it.  With M (the daughter), it seems that he's really more into playing with her.  I'm feeling a bit put off by the development of their relationship.

Let me explain a bit.  She's been spending a lot of time at our house.  She's sexy and young and dresses in short skirts and tight jeans.  Of course, he's quite captivated by her and I don't blame him.  If he was just screwing her, I'd be fine.  But he plays games with this girl and he wants to spend lots of time with her.   It's kind of like the rules have changed a bit.  We've discussed it and I'm still on board, but I didn't quite feel comfortable.

She is cute and she knows it.  She seems to have him eating out of her sweet tiny hands.  It seems that she's over every single day!  I've asked him to limit it and he's agreed, but then she just shows up and we don't want to be rude.  He's told me to tell her to leave if I want, but I don't want to ruin this for him.  He can't seem to "be rude" to her at all...ever!

I came in from work on Friday night and found them sitting on the couch in the semi-darkness listening to music.  They didn't hear me and I overheard him asking her to describe to him her sex life with boys.  As she described the things she did with boys, he tells her what a "naughty little girl" she'd been  He is getting hotter and hotter and he tells her he is going to have to spank her.  Now, this is what I'm talking about.  This is the game playing.  This isn't about him screwing other women for the sex and then just sharing it with me.  I decide to leave and let them have their fun.  I know he wants his time with his ****.  (yes, I'm feeling a bit jealous now).

When I get home, he is in a great mood.  I ask him how his evening went.  He tells me he spent time with M.  I ask him what they did and he says that they had sex.  We go to bed and I smell her on him.  It turns me on a lot.  As we have sex, I ask him to describe what they did and he tells me that he screwed her.  That's it!  He doesn't tell me about the sexy games they played or about the fact that she's his "naughty little girl".  He's not tellling me that they are into this S & M thing.  Now, it's not about's about him and her having a little S & M.  I'm not sure that's a good thing.  He's not being open with me about it.

I tell him I know the next morning and he gets upset that I was there and didn't let him know.  We had an argument.  I ask if he should stop seeing her.  He kind of freaks.  He doesn't want to stop seeing her, even though it's caused an argument between us. 

We've discussed it and I've come to realize that I have had unrealistic expectations.  I've viewed the "other woman" as an object and not as someone with her own feelings and desires.  She has been, up til now, merely an object we've included for our pleasure.  How can I logically expect a woman to have an intimate relationship with  my husband without allowing her to express herself or to have her needs met?  It's not fair to her.  How can I expect this, if it's ongoing, NOT to become some sort of relationship?

I can, however, expect my husband to be totally and completely honest with me about his feelings.  If he feels something for this girl, he needs to tell me.  He has agreed and admitted that this situation is different than it is with the mother.  He is enjoying her in a different way and it is about the sex between them.  He gets a high from a hot young girl wanting him. Now that's he's admitted it, he can keep it in perspective.  It's going to be fine, I think. 

I don't think he's going to fall in love with a 20 year old, but it is a natural thing to feel this type of high from a new relationship.  I think we'll just monitor it.  We wanted to do this to add to our sex life and it has.  When and if it becomes a big issue, we'll stop. 

I expected some jealousy, just not this much.  Guess I didn't expect my husband to attract a 20 year old girlfriend!  It's a work in progress.  One day at a time.

We haven't even gotten to the point where he has to discuss this with M's mom!  That might be awkward!  She's an adult, but it might cause some issues.

cuckqueanwife cuckqueanwife
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

he's already fallen in love.

Ha! You couldn't be more wrong. After about two months, he got bored with this chick. She was far too young to hold his interest. She was a toy and they had some fun, but that's as far as it went. When she got clingy and wanted more, he ran like heck! LOL! Nope, no love there. In fact, I kind of felt bad for her. At 20, they don't realize that when a man says it's just sex, they mean it. She got in over her head. I don't really like playing with girls that young for that reason. She's dating another older guy. She's brought him around, trying to make my husband jealous. It's okay. She'll get over my husband sooner or later.

How funny. It's like a TV series.