Why Do I Steal??

 I am a grown woman 38 years old. When I was 16 and 17, a friend introduced me to shoplifting. We did it for over a year, stealing stuff like makeup, clothing,  and basically anything we wanted that would fit in our purses or our pockets. It was very addicting to me. I was a bagger for the commissary at the time, so I made pretty good tips, I almost always had at least $40 cash in my pocket at all times. But I wasn't stealing because I couldn't afford the items. It just became "fun" because it was FREE. Eventually I told another friend what we did and she started to do it too. She was pretty careless, she'd tear price tags off the merchadise she stole and left them in the dressing room. This is how we got caught. Well, SHE got caught by the store detective, who in turn searched ME too since we came in and left together. I had never been so embarassed and ashame in all my life. The military police came and called our parents. Since my dad was retired Army, it was quite embarassing for him to be called in.My ID card was revoked for 6 months, and I was not allowed on base at all. My dad was shocked and very disappointed in me. I lost my job as a bagger and regretted the fact that I ruined my chance to earn an income by blowing it all on nonsense items which I could have paid for. My mother, who raised me as a devoted Christian blamed herself and wondered where she failed me as a mother. My parents were going through a separation at the time and my mom still blames that incident on both her and my dad, for not paying attention to me and for always arguing and all that. Up until now, I really dont know if that is what drove me to steal. Recently, I began doing it again and it is tearing me up inside because I know I have a teen son now and I shoulnd't be doing this. I blame it on financial stress but then again, I am not too sure. Sometimes I have the URGE to steal something...anything I can from a store, no matter how small it is. I need help but I dont know who to talk to.

mooncharms mooncharms
36-40, F
3 Responses Jun 25, 2009

In this day & age, don't be so surprised to hear & see a lot more of this going on due to job losses across the nation. Im talking about folks that steal food just to feed their starving families & its not going to be getting better anytime soon if at all. I wrote a short screen play about these times a little over a yr ago. <br />
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I think your guilty conscience will melt once you read it. Im fixin to upload it within the next 60 minutes. Dont give up on yourself- because in the day you give up, your child will also give up & no telling where that will eventually lead to.

Hello I know how you feel. I have had good luck with therepy. I am an abused child raised before hitting and all that became illegal. My mother hit me me with anything and everything. She belittled me over and over and just now I am becoming the person I want to be and setting my own boundries. Please fee free to write to me any time.

Is it the thrill of getting away with it that makes you keep doing it? Couldn't you just skydive or find another adrenaline sport that could take the place of this activity? One where you wouldn't have to risk going to prison?