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Knowing True Love And True Loss


  I have searched my whole life looking for real love. Seeking a true example of a love that is so untouchable and amazingly sweet. Of course I have dated and thought I was in love. Even married the same man twice believing that it was love. I was so incredibly young, and thought I knew everything. Boy was I wrong.I had the right idea about love,however I also wore rose colored glasses to I guess. I only had part of the picture. I love David with all my heart. I know how I feel and the things that I do to try and show him everyday that I love him. It may be things that seem old fashioned or small. Like getting up with him every morning he has to go to work to make sure he has breakfast before he leaves. Making sure that he has a lunch and a warm dinner at night. I wait on him daily hand and foot. I even rub his feet and back at night before he goes to sleep. He claims that I treat him well, like no one ever has before. I love him so much I would do anything for him. Is it still out of love when you think about how it's only one sided? Then I think no it's not... He gets up at 3am every morning to go to work and does not get back home until 6 or later in the evening. He works and supports me and my daughter. The only thing he asks of me is to go back to school and keep the house clean. I believe that is how he shows his love for me. Over the last few months I see that love is so much more than that. Every time I visit with his mom and dad I see what true love is. David's mom was diagnoses with cancer about 6 months ago. She has not been doing very well since they told her the bad news. Her husband has been there by her side each and everyday loving her, taking care of her in ways I have never imagined someone caring for another. The first example was weeks ago when Mom was in the hospital after bad side effects of the chemo. We went up to visit Mom at the hospital. We could tell that she was weak and tired. David and I sat in there with her for a while just  in case she might wake up. I noticed Mom had her lipstick on. Crooked but on...Dad had put it on for her. My guess is to help her feel better. Most women know a little make up always seem to make us feel better.  Another time David and I went to visit Mom at her home and we ask how she was feeling. Her answer was one of the sweetest I have ever heard. " The only thing that makes me feel better is when Dad lays here beside me. It comforts me to know he's here with me." That was the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Dad is always reminding Mom how important it is to eat, or do her physical therapy. I think maybe she thinks he's being mean sometimes, but I see how much he wants her to beat this cancer. He is doing everything to help her to do just that. Another thing I thought was so sweet...  David and I visited this past weekend Mom was having a good day she was up and filling us in about all her Church friends and such...She was taking about wanting a manicure and pedicure, and then she said "Dad shaved my legs for me yesterday." Dad says honey, "I thought that was what you wanted." I just think watching them has given me hope the true love does exist. The have been married over 50 yrs, still kiss when one is going out the door, still holding hands. I know they haven't had a perfect 50+ yrs. But to see that their love is still going Strong after all these years. I really feel blessed to have been able to know Mom and Dad. They have brought a joy to my life that I have not known. I guess like having my own mom and dad. David and his siblings are very lucky to have the parents that they have. I hope they all know it.
    I try to remind David how special him Mom and Dad . That he needs to embrace them and enjoy them while they are still around. With Mom having cancer God only knows how long we have with her. Mom and Dad are both in their 80's. I tell David life is short...Cherish the time we have left with them. Once they are gone it's to late to say all that you want to say. I lost my parents years ago. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about what I could have or should have told them. Especially my Momma. I miss her and want to talk to her, hug her , just love her. I miss her everyday. My mother taught me a lot in this life. How to love is the greatest thing she taught me. I love my family and friends unconditionally. I just hope and pray they feel the same about me. Between my Momma and David's parents, I think I really have the whole picture now. Thank You all !!!
mommatrish mommatrish 41-45, F 4 Responses Aug 10, 2011

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I think that you trust again when you find someone that wants to be your partner in life. Who wants to be your equal. You will find someone that wants to share life with you, not take everything in life from you. Normally myself I work just as hard as my husband. We both work and all the money goes in to pay the bills and whats left over we use for "our" savings . Weather it is for vacation, of a new vehicle... it's something we agree on to share together.<br />
Not all women are the same! My husband has 2 ex-wives. One cheated on him and the other used him and stole from him to buy drugs and left him in debt . It took me a while to prove myself to him. To show him that was was neither a cheat nor a thief. <br />
My husband is the major bread winner here. But I work just as hard and long taking care of our home and our children. I even helped him with his sick mother when they needed me.<br />
It take both partners giving 100% in the relationship. NOT 50/50 like I have heard people say. <br />
You have to open yourself up to trust again. Don't judge "her" by your ex's past mistakes. That is not fair to her. You wouldn't want to be judged by what her ex's have done in the past. And if the person really loves you the word prenuptial is not going to scare them off.

I feel like a fool some times to have some one that is to be my true love just to find out that it was only one sided I was the one in love and I was just there to pay the bills. I just don't understand how peaple can be so destructive then when they find some one that payes more they are gone. With a sorry it just did not work out. Then when I meet some one and they look true all I have to say is prenupual and what do you know they are no more. When can I trust?

Thank you for your kind words.

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, Thanks for sharing.