To Be Free

I was married to an abusive husband for 18 years.  It is amazing how long you are willing to put up with something that is so wrong.  I did not even know it was abusive until the last couple of years, thanks to a friend.  When I realized that it was I asked my husband to seek counseling for being an abuser.  He refused because most men do not think they are abusers.  He then filed for divorce.  I was basically forced out of the house and ended up living in protective housing for a year.  It was the best thing I could do for myself.  It has had it's major struggles and I won't say it's been easy, it has been extremely difficult, with lots of tears and doubts and grieving.  But with  counseling, I have made it this far and I  hope to make it on my own successfully and find my identity, find out who I am, find out what I like, what I don't like, what I want to do.  That all gets lost when you live with an abuser.  I hope I can meet others with a  similar experience and share our stories and trials and successes  together.
frozen frozen
36-40, F
4 Responses Apr 18, 2007

I see that 4 years have passed since you posted this story, I hope you're in a better state right now. Sending you strength!

I really hope that your journey has been an exiting one for you, there is so much you close your eyes and heart to when you are in an abusive relationship and going out there and discovering everything that you ignored in the past is so great...God bless!!!!

hey der, al d best 2 u for ur great future hubby is an alcoholic too and a sadist too..i dont hav d strength 2 move out coz my mum is not emotionally strong

Power to you, and keep telling your story, the more this gets out in the open the less people will have to go through it.