How Do You Make Lemonade Out Of Lemons With Limerence!

So my "limerent object" had been a minor side note in my life for years. I first saw her 3 and a half years ago working at a restaurant and said to myself the classic "she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" bit. I hardly spoke to her and she disappeared after a year. Still she would now and again resurface in my mind, but not to much detriment. Earlier this year she reappeared, and the crush emerged again. Guess it never really left to be honest. I started seeing her not only at her work, but at my gym. She was everywhere! Still, being apparently limerent (I just discovered this term) already, I was too shy to interact. I always said I would, but everytime I saw her the intense anxiousness would arise again. She disappeared again and I was very sad. I'd constantly look for her at the gym, but assumed she was gone for good and said to myself well you blew it again. I told myself if I ever saw her again I would finally be bold and approach her. Well about two months ago I was out at local club minding my own business and low and behold who do I see? So, I walked across the room and she smiled at me (reading about this mind state I realize I apparently misconstrued this as a big deal, silly) I smiled back but was still too afraid to approach. Finally about 20 minutes later I said to myself "you can't let her disappear again, just go over, don't be a *****!" I straight up told her she was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen and that she was only girl who I ever got good service from at her restaurant, both true by the way. I bought her a drink and we conversed for a bit. She told me it was her 21st birthday, which I thought was just too random and fortuitous, I gave her a hug to congratulate. She smiled and laughed a lot as we talked. I told her I had to leave because my friends were wanting to go and she seemed disappointed and we held on to eachothers hands a moment before I walked away. I mean it went really well I thought, I couldn't hardly believe it. I got her Facebook ( I know, I know, I can't believe I didn't just ask for her number, I was still kind of terrified.) I walked out of there WALKING ON SUNSHINE. I even jumped and clicked my heels before I got in my friends car. Happier and more alive than I have been in ages! I was sure I would finally get to know more about her. After being a hopeless romantic all my life was this finally my time to experience the romance I had always longed for!? Well I added her on fb and wrote her a message that we should hang out sometime..no reply! CRUSHED!!! I've commented on random posts of hers and she has responded in the smallest of ways. Basically I am completely enraptured in limerence now. Besides being stunning, she seems (and yes I know it's just facebook, but girls in particular do tend to put it out there haha) smart, innocent and genuine. Worst of all she seems to have a hopeless romantics bleeding heart just like mine! She even has big dreams, not unlike myself. I've read a few things she writes and said holy crap that sounds just like me! OH THE IRONY!!! I don't know what to do now. I don't want to try to woo her online. She is in and out of town but I have not ran into her again. I can't sleep at night. At times my stomach hurts immensely. I think about it constantly throughout the day and well it is just hell basically. I go out all the time and drink too much to distract me. Maybe worst part is I just don't feel attracted to other girls. They just can't "hold a candle to her" so to speak. I mean she is my DREAM GIRL, don't know what else to say. I wish I could get to know more about her, maybe learn she is a horrible witch lol, but again my limerence might be blinding me. So in short, I am completely twitterpated and lost :(
Aaronarw Aaronarw
26-30, M
2 Responses Nov 30, 2012

Look, it doesn't seem that impossible in your case!

Sorry, wrong key.

I meant to say there are no obstacles but in your mind! Do not let your negative feelings possibly rob you of happiness !

Communicate with her! She seems to be open to communication. Most women like being communicated with.

You are both available for crying out loud! I envy you! Do something. But font go over the to!

I don't think it's possible to "make lemonade out of limerence". A limerent kills any possibility of a successful relationship, if any at all. I'm working not-so-subconsciously to sabotage it with my LO. (The term is apt. She is an object. She'll never be real to me.) I think it's good if she doesn't want any contact. You can get closure and try to move on in spite of any limerent delusions you'll have in the future.