I Miss Her So Much...

As a young girl I wished for years to have a green eyed cat. Then one day when I was still living in my family home, a friend gave me a tiny cat named Aura, found at a wrecking site. She was super shy and hid under a chair at my friends' apartment so I only saw her beautiful face and bright green just long enough to know we were destined for one another. As soon as I got her home she went under my bed where she basically stayed for two months, coming out only at night to eat. Every day I would lie on the floor near the bed or hang off it talking to her telling her about my day or something. Finally she grew comfortable enough to come out, and it didn't take her long after that to become adjusted to being an indoor-outdoor housecat. I loved her every single day and made sure to tell her that every day. As I grew older and moved into a place of my own, she also matured and moved with me. For the last ten years we shared a small garden level apartment in a family oriented neighborhood. Every day I would make sure we had special time together to play or just hang out together. She was my constant companion, my little baby for 17 years until May 1st this year when I made the aweful, regretable and irrevocable decision to end her terrible struggle with a sudden cancer that had taken over her whole body in a matter of 6 weeks. I have not been able to eat or sleep since and all I do after work is come home, look at pictures of her and cry. I feel as though I am living a nightmare without her. I just want her back healthy and happy yet I know it is not possible. Today one of her cat friends stopped by the yard looking for her, I was telling Sweetie that she is gone yet Sweetie kept sniffing and looking around as if she sensed Aura there. I know she is with me as our love knows no earthly bounds yet I also feel the loss of her life so heavy on my heart. I miss her so much, every day. I'm not sure this world is worth going on in without her because it seems so empty. This is why I am writing here; to fill the void in my life. The world is no longer the same place for me that it once was. I'm not sure I understand anything any more. What is the point of it really? I miss her so much....

missumyaurakitten missumyaurakitten
31-35, F
2 Responses May 13, 2010

How are you feeling now? Have you gotten another kitty? <br />
By ending her suffering you did something that most don't have enough love to do.<br />
People are generally so selfish, they would prefer that their pet live longer even though they are suffering.. People do this because even though they love their pet soo much, they can't let go and allow their pet to pass or they can't have the pet put down bc they feel they were responsible for their pet's death but all they did was allow the one they love to relax and end the suffering. <br />
Pets will hold on for such a long time just for their owners. You won't know your pet is suffering until they have already suffered for so long that they can no longer tolerate it for you.<br />
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I have been trying so hard to find a home for this kitty who appeared in our yard just before thanksgiving. We don't know where she came from or how she got her. <br />
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I'm more of a dog person but I love this kitty kat..he is the most awesome little guy and he's got the most beautiful green eyes. <br />
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We are moving out of state in a few weeks and there's no way that we can take him with us, we already have 4 dogs and are struggling financially, trying to sell this house before it's lost in foreclosure.<br />
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I have posted pics of him all over facebook and myspace, i've sent emails to no kill shelters but I have received no replies.. And this kitty is becoming a cat and he deserves a good home. The person who ends up with this cat is going to have a lot of fun with him because he is amazing, so funny, so lively and playful, so desperate to have as much human contact and affection as he can get. <br />
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I lost my dog after 16 yrs a couple of years ago and I still get upset and cry over her, I miss her so much. The two dogs I have now are 12 and 9 yrs old, I will be devastated if and when they are no longer healthy and enjoying life but I will do what's in their best interest, not mine. <br />
I will then mourn the loss but before too long I will adopt another because it's not the loss that we should be consumed with but it's the joy they brought to our lives while they were here and who are we to not get to have that again? There are so many homeless cats and dogs at the shelters in need of someone like you, who deserve to be happy just as you deserve to be happy.<br />
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This kitty cat needs a home too so don't give up and don't throw away your life because there's still more that you can do, more cats that can make you happy and benefit from what you have to offer.

awww, im sooo sorry! my 12 year old dog had to be put down in the yarly afternoon. youre not alone!