It's been one year since Jasmine is gone now, I still miss her. She still and always will remain in my heart.

I still remember the day you found me. I was sitting outside on the front porch smoking a cigarette. It was right around dusk; the evening was quiet and the sun was almost below the horizon. I heard a noise, a tiny little mewling, I turned to look and there you were coming across the porch. You started meowing at me as you got closer, totally unafraid of me as if you knew that I was safe.

You began rubbing my leg as soon as you got close enough and I bent down to pick you up. You were so tiny, so little, you could fit in my one hand. Even at that moment you found your way into my heart. As I held you, you began purring, snuggling down into my arms. I set her down on the porch and went inside, poured a small bowl of milk and put a little bit of Tuna on a plate.

I set them down on the porch and I put this tiny little kitten down by the bowls, she went right to the bowl of milk and began lapping it up, then she turned her attention to the tuna eating all of what was there, then washing it down with the little bit of milk that was left.
She was so tiny, surely she couldn't have come far, while she was eating I went around to the neighbors to see if she belonged to someone, as tiny as she was I didn't think she could have gone far.
No one knew where she came from, she didn't belong to any of the neighbors. I gave her some more tuna which she scarfed down and I decided to just let her stay outside with the thought that someone would be looking for her.

In the morning she was still there, I gave her some more food put out a bowl of water for her and left for work.

When I arrived home at the end of the day, off to the left of the garage there is a small patio and there is a large potted umbrella tree there. As we pulled up she came out from inside the tree. Apparently she had gone up in there and spent the day hiding in the potted tree.

This little ritual went on for several days, each evening when I came home after work, she would trundle out from the umbrella tree and come greet me. After several more unsuccessful attempts at trying to find out if she belonged to someone I decided to bring her in the house.

She made herself at home, like this was HER house and always had been. I bought a litter box, food bowls, and cat food...and because of the way she behaved in taking over the house immediately I named her Jasmine after Princess Jasmine form the Disney movie.

Jasmine quickly made herself at home, she picked up a routine that she had all of her time with me. She knew that when I got up I would pour a cup of coffee and that meant the milk would be coming out of the refrigerator. She would start rubbing my legs and purring and looking up her eyes following every over of the milk carton. I had a special little bowl just for her and I would pour a little bit of milk in there for her and she would just sit there and lap it up purring the whole time.

Jasmine also liked ice cubes, when she heard me opening the freezer door she would come running and stand under foot just waiting for an ice cube to drop which one normally did. She would lick it, following it across the floor never missing a beat until there was nothing left of it, not even a small puddle.

During the night if she wanted to go out, she wouldn't just meow to go out oh no, she would place herself by the window; sit there and slap the verticals with her paw till I woke up to let her out.

When I would come home after fishing and bring some fish with me, she would get up on the chair put her two front paws on the table and watch me clean them. It was like I knew what she was thinking "I'z luvz dis restrant, they'z haz the freshest food. Yes, she always got a little sampling too.

The rest of this is what happened the day she was put to sleep and the dream I had that night about her.

Jasmine was put to sleep tonight, her blood work came back and it was bad. Her red cell count was even lower than the 7.5 from 4 days ago and in that time she lost almost another pound of weight. One of the tests the vet ran was to check for cells that eventually become red blood cells, her body was producing none, they found none. Jasmine wasn't eating, she had now stopped drinking, the only way she  was getting any water was from me forcing her to drink using a small syringe. I talked it over with the vet (I had somewhat prepared for this the night before) that the right thing to do was to let her go to sleep, there was nothing that could be done and she was only going to get worse. She didn't deserve to suffer and as the vet told me it would just continue to get worse as her body was collapsing in on itself.

That night I dreamed of Jasmine,  I was traveling to take Jasmine to her final resting spot. It was a long trip and I kept running into obstacles on the way. For some reason at some point I were traveling through upstate NY, a place I knew from my childhood to be exact (i dream of that particular area a lot I don't know why) Finally I was close to where I was going to lay Jasmine to rest. But before I could I had to get her ready, next thing I know I was in a dimly lit room and I had Jasmine laid out on a table.

I heard the sound of vertical blinds being slapped (something Jasmine would do when she wanted to go out during the night) I looked up and at the other end of the table was Jasmine. She was herself, she was plump instead of skinny and as soon as she saw me look at her she stood up. I went around the table and began petting her and she began purring with her percolator purr that she always had. Jasmine was rubbing against me and butting me with her head when suddenly from another room I heard a voice. It was Maria (I never saw the person calling me I just knew her name was Maria) and she told me that I needed to come eat something that I needed to make sure I took care of myself. When she first started speaking I looked up at the sound of her voice and when I looked back down to the table Jasmine was gone.

It was then that I woke up, I lay there for a minute before I realized I felt something brushing up against my chest and upper arm. At first I thought it was the A/C running, but I didn't hear the air handler running. Then I thought it could be the ceiling fan but that wasn't on either. I had no covers or blanket over me and what I was feeling felt almost furry. As suddenly as it started, it stopped; still laying there thinking about the dream and what just happened I came to a realization that it was Jasmine letting me know she is alright.

Jasmine's favorite spot to sleep, on the turntable next to my desk.

Update: The umbrella tree still grows on the side of the house.
This morning I clipped several branches and laid them over the spot where she sleeps.
I miss that little fur-ball.
Southernman48 Southernman48
46-50, M
Jul 15, 2010