Spotless, A Tribute To Spot The Wonder Puppy, May The World Not Swallow All Of You Just Yet...

Sweet puppy with the single white spot on your back, a tail that was quick to wag, you were quite the playful mischievious little guy, definately the alpha of the liter...You had such a cute little yap of a bark which you used quite often... from the begining you were the most vocal puppy, admittedly at first I was not always pleased with your frequent late night cries. Despite myself I really grew to love you and you had a special hold on me, your personality started to form and of all the puppies you seemed to not only enjoy the company of humans but you seemed to crave and need it... you were the first to walk, the first to hear my voice, you were always the first puppy to run to the corner of the crate and beg for attention when my voice alerted you to my presence. Your face lifted up with a look of sheer joy, your little tail wagging as fast as it could... the yap of excitement, and the little jumps of puppy joy...Of all the puppies you were the most enthusiastic about interacting with me, of all the puppies I think you were the most happy when you saw my face or heard my voice, you always wanted my attention the most and you made sure you got the most attention from me... I never thought I would find you so endearing, it was not by my choice, you wagged your little tale and yipped a song that stole my resolve, broke down my indifference to you, you sweet and mischievious little thing...somehow you managed to wiggle into my heart.

I am so sad that it was you that was lost. When I pictured the future for you and your brothers and sisters, it was always you that I thought was going to be an amazing little dog, a superior compainion to humans. Of course each of your brothers and sisters had their unique traits, their quirks and their own endearing qualities...but You were the best of the bunch, you were the brightest star in the crate.  I had no intention on feeling this way, as from the begining I wanted to like your white furred brother the most but, for all of my trying I couldn't help but hold you highest in my heart.

I placed that water bowl outside your crate everyday for weeks and weeks... I didn't want your mommy to have to go far from you when she was thirsty or hungry.  It was a miserable choice for a water dish... deep and narrow... and a miserable place for me to put it. Right outside the crate.

I was awoken from slumber by the cries of your brother and the movement of Dita your doggy mommy, I soon realised you were missing and I searched high and low for you, I searched and searched... I could not hear your whines anywhere and I felt dread and panic, knowing that hearing no cries was a horrible I searched even harder and faster... I became frantic and desperate...I made your human dad come home from work to help me search, and he found you almost immediately, there in the water dish...head down, no movement... I swooped you out in hopes it wasn't too late... but your cold wet limp body had no life left in it.  And I stood there frozen in shock, in horror, in disbelief... what once was a miraculous life was a just wet fur.... as the truth of your demise imploded upon me I stood motionless, helpless, hopeless... with no clear thoughts, no perception of anything but your wet fur, my stomache dropped and I looked at your human daddy and all I could say was...NO! Not my Spot... Your daddy tenderly took you from me, and said " sweetie he is gone" ... and his words brought me back into the world...this truth left me with my first coherent thought ... "no not my spot, not the best puppy of the bunch"... why should it be Spot? Why? and The only answer I have is that the world has no mercy for what is beautiful, it shows no justice in who it takes or how it takes them or even when it shall steal them away. I tremble with tears imagining the terror and helplessness you had to have felt, the darkness, the cold water, not being able to use your sweet yap to alert me of your peril ...why did the world make you so vocal only to have your voice drowned out in a waterfilled grave... that is a cruel irony that is not lost on my aching heart.  Why didn't the dish tip over? You were the strongest of the puppies, Why of all places did you fall out of the crate head first into that dish? For all your strengths the world still swiftly conquered and did away with you. I will never have peace with that. I will never forgive the world for this. I will never let this go... I will always be haunted by the terror of your last moments, I will always be damned for not finding you when you were right infront of me, all the time I wasted looking everywhere when you were right there in front of me, waiting for a rescue that would not happen... I will carry the burden of wondering if I could have saved you if I had only seen you right away. I hurt because the truth is, I don't really wonder, I know and I know I could have had I not been blind to where you were, right there, right in front me the whole time.... Had I found you in the first moments I think you would be cuddled up in the crate with your brothers and sisters, no worse for the wear and still the same loveable Spot that I cherished so much.

I am left with nothing to do or say to fix this, it cannot be changed or undone... I am simply left with the reassertion that the world takes as it pleases without concern or mercy.

It swallows everything sooner or later and we are powerless to change it or stop it.

We are in mere servitude to it, slaves to its whims and its will.

It has taken you and in time will take even the memories of you, so Spot I write you this tribute in defiance of our cruel master, this unjust world , in hopes that the eyes that read it and the hearts that are softened by its message, will somehow in some small way  help me carry a little part of you, some small part of you so that it cannot be so quickly swallowed by this hateful world.

Vivagalore Vivagalore
31-35, F
3 Responses May 10, 2012

This beautiful tribute made me cry. I adore animals, they bring so much joy and love and as gumshoe says, Spot gave you love and he knows he was loved back. x

And that comforts me greatly... I am a foster home for a rescue group, so I help rehab puppymill dogs... often times they are too sick to be saved and although there is a great sadness in not saving them in time, there is also a great comfort in knowing that at least you are there to show them love even if it is only for a short time, and they do not die alone and never knowing the love of a human... many puppy mill dogs will not even get that...

Spot was loved for all the moments of his life, even if it was such a short life.

So true, and it breaks my heart that any animal is abused. I admire you so much for the work you do to rehome these beautiful animals. ((hugs)))

Oh no. This is so sad it made me cry. I am wondering if when he fell in the water dish he hit his head and became unconscious and that is why he drowned, and that is why you heard nothing that would have shown you where he was. It seems to me that if he was conscious you would have heard him splashing around and making noises, and his mommy would have too, and she likely would have jumped out the crate and grabbed him (with her mouth of course) and pulled him out of the water dish. Maybe it was just too late. Its so hard dealing with things like this. I told you what happened to my dog who was hit by a car and I go over all the things I wish I would have done differently to save his life. Its heart wrenching.

Puppies like babies are head heavy, and I kinda think he prolly tried to whine for help and inhaled the water and went kinda quick... I dunno I can't really think about it, it makes me feel sick... I just have to focus on the puppies who are here and enjoy them.

That's true. My sister's dog had puppies and they were very head heavy and would often fall forward when walking around or eating. I was there one day and one of them fell forward into the food bowl. He looked up at us and wimpered and his face was covered with dog food. We had to laugh because he looked so funny, but she immediately picked him up and cleaned him off. And of course his mommy licked his face like crazy.

I am so sorry for your loss and I do very much understand the very real grief and pain you must be feeling. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that however brief his life was he must have felt love and joy.