My Maggie

It was less than two hours ago that we had it done. We had our beloved Maggie laid to rest.  That was the hardest experience of my life.  And I wasn't even man enough to be there for our baby's final trip.    I didn't think I could handle it.  I couldn't.  Not by the way I'm bawling my eyes out right now.

I hurt.  My God, don't I hurt!!!  I am so angry.  Angry at myself for not being man enough to be there.  Instead, i sent my wife to do the deed. 

That dog was my wife's baby.  Wherever my wife was, so was she.  That dog would get agitated whenever my wife went to the bathroom and closed the door. One of the sweetest things in the world was to listen to my wife sing "Simply the Best" to that dog.

That dog had a special daddy wag for me.  This morning, as I was preparing to go, she was doing her wag.  I said my goodbyes to her then.  Those big, brown, trusting eyes.  I couldn't look into them because I knew in about ten hours, I would be betraying her.  Which I did.

In some respects, I can draw comfort from the fact that she's in a better place. She was almost 11 years old and was suffering from a collapsing trachea.  She was slowly suffocating.  In the end, there really were no other options.

Last night, my wife made a slideshow of the life of our Maggie  from the day we picked her up until this past weekend.  With Tina Turner singing "Simply the Best" in the background, it was a poignant reminder of the dear friend who just left us.

Agreeing with my wife to have Maggie put to rest was the absolute toughest decision of my life.  I have to say that Maggie's passing had a more profound effect on me than just about anything I can think of.Watching my mom pass away from cancer a few years ago rates right up there with this one.  The difference is that my mom's passing was out of my control.  Maggie's passing was directly within the influence of my control.
bobrido bobrido
46-50, M
10 Responses Oct 15, 2013

I see that it has been over a year since your loss but I just joined and wanted to know how you're doing. It is never an easy thing to do and my husband reacted the same way that you did. He was in the waiting room while I held my boy as he went over

Thank you for asking. I'm doing well. We got another dog just two weeks ago. She looks so much like our Maggie and has the same temperament. She's such a sweet baby.

What kind of dog is she?

She's a beautiful, eight year old fawn pug. A very sweet tempered, loving little girl. She adores everyone she meets, greeting them with a tail wag and a solid face licking.

That's so sweet. Did you adopt or rescue her?

Both, actually. You see, she was originally a rescue. We helped with the transport to her new mommy. My wife became friends with the new mommy, so, was able to see this little girl every now and then. Well, she is moving and needs to pare down on the number of pets she has. When she called me and asked if we'd be willing to take this little girl, I said yes right off.

I don't blame you. I have 4 dogs myself

We're up to three. Two pugs and one Bostie. The little Bostie is a sweetie.

Do you have any that are not sweeties? Lol
If they weren't why would we have them, right?

They each have their own lovable little personalities. That's why they're all in our lives.

They also allow us to show love when no one else will

I know. They also give unconditional love. You love your pet and that love will be returned threefold.

I know

9 More Responses

Actually Maggie's passing wasn't really in your control and you shouldn't blame yourself for that. Like you said, there was really no other option. I'm sure that Maggie would have gone peacefully, painlessly. You'd made the right decision to let her go. She would not have seen it as a betrayal, she would just have been grateful of the great life you and your wife had given her.

Thank you. I've come to look at our decision to have Maggie put down as the right thing to do.

This is so sad, but I do not think you were a coward to have your wife bring the dog to be put in her final rest. Some people deal with things differently. I do not like going to funerals. When I was 18 my father passed away and my aunt (his twin sister) told me to touch him , so I did, and after that I was never able to attend a funeral again. My dads twin sis passed away and I did not go to the funeral because I have the worse fear of doing so.
It doesn't make you a bad person. You loved that dog, treated the dog with love and that is what is important. It is sad to let a pet go. You two did the right thing., She was struggling to breathe....I am sorry you had to go through this.

Im so sorry about the lose of your Maggie

Thank you.

Losing our pets is one of lifes worst things, they become our family. I couldnt go in when hubby held our last 2 doggies, and he still tears up when their names are mentioned. My condolences, you gave Maggie a good life.

Thank you. I do take comfort in knowing Maggie had a great life with us. She came to us at the ripe old age of 3-1/2 and we were her fifth home. It took her three months to figure out that this was her forever home and she ruled the roost ever since.

Animals can have amazing friendships with humans. I am a Cat person and have had a number of close relationships with cats. its awful when they go especially when it is sudden and you go home and see pet related items, Their bed, their food and finding bits of fur and whiskers months later. :(

Thank you. You're right. Totally right. To this day, I see bits and pieces of my Maggie and break down.

Years ago, I used to have this Maine Coon cat. He was MY cat. Wherever I went, he went too. If I went to bed, there was only a two or three minute delay before you'd hear the pitter patter of his big ol' paws before he'd be leaping up on the bed to sleep with me. He passed away in 2003 and I still miss that cat to this day. He was the best pet I ever had.

Awwww,,, I love those Maine Coon cats. I dont know where I would find one in the UK.. are they actually pedigree cats? I know they are American but not sure if they are 'commoners' or not

I really don't know about the UK. I suppose they're considered a breed. They're supposedly found worldwide. I really wouldn't know. I got that cat from a guy who I did a favor for. He gave me this cat when he was a kitten as a return to that favor.

I'm so sorry. :(

I had to have my cat put down, I had him for 10 years, he was a Maine Coon (they are very big cats), he was 23lbs. Gentle giant. Monty Zuma. It was so hard. I never knew I could be so devastated over a pet. They become part of your family.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I had a Maine Coon myself. He passed on in 2003. He was the absolute best cat I ever had. I loved that cat! I was grateful to have had him for 12 years. So, yeah, I feel ya!

I remember a friend who split up with his girlfriend told me he missed her cat more than he missed her. Cat didnt like her apparently. It used to sleep IN the bed with him. Lol

You did the right thing :(

In my heart, I know I did. I still struggle with that decision. But to hear her breathing suffer like it did any time she moved more than three feet was horrible. No animal deserves to slowly choke to death.

I'm so sorry for your loss :( I had to put my cat Chester to sleep on Sept 23 less than a month ago. One of the hardest thing I ever did but I couldn't watch him suffer. I don't know how I found the strength to be there. I was not able to be there when they put my 15 year old rabbit to sleep. Sometimes I think it's best if we are not present and easier for them to let go. Do not have regrets, she still knows how you feel about her. I know we will see them again.

Thank you. And you're right. We will see our beloved pets once again.

You are stronger than you give yourself credit. I am here for you. The comfort you said is she is not suffering anymore an as you said your last goodbyes I'm sure she was to you. M.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm about to lose it again. ****.