She's not technically my cat - she's my landlady's - but I've known her for years, taken care of her whenever my landlady goes out of town for a while. I don't think I completely realized it until we found out that she was sick a couple of days ago, but I've realized that she's my cat too. It's not a decision I made, it's a decision my heart made - if that makes sense.

The vet confirmed that she has a problem with her liver (Cholangiohepatitis), and tomorrow I'm bringing her to get an ultrasound to see if it's being caused by Pancreatitis. Depending on the results, It's entirely possible that we'll be able to take care of completely with antibiotics, or even if we can't it may still end up going into remission. There's also a real chance that she'll die. We just don't know at this point.

Sometimes I feel sad to the point of shutting down, and all I want to do is listen to sad music and drown in it all. Sometimes I want to do literally anything to distract myself. Sometimes I get so incredibly angry at everything and nothing. I don't want her to die. I know there's nothing I can do, but I just don't ******* want her to die.

EDIT: She's feeling a lot better now :) . Her third round of tests showed that her "Billy Ruben" (I have no idea if that's how you spell it) values were back to normal, so she ended up not needing surgery. We got to bring her home today after several days in the local pet clinic. We're still giving her broad spectrum antibiotics for her Pancreatitis, so she's not completely out of the woods yet - but she's energetic and eating again, which is a really good sign.
SilverSearching SilverSearching
31-35, M
2 Responses Nov 17, 2015

bilirubin* Glad she's doing better.

Thanks Maya :)

I know what you mean I got a kitten who I had a strong connection with unfortunates he was very ill and we had to take him back to to the humane society. No one could figure out what was wrong with him. I'm not sure what the resolution came to be but I imagine he has passed. It still pains me.

Unfortunately he was very ill*

I'm sorry for your loss. One of our cats when I was growing up had a close call when he was a kitten, but we were lucky enough to never lose a pet at such a young age. It must have been really hard.