6 Years Ago Today

i'm on the west coast now; it's 2:07am so it's 5:07am in the east where i'm from.

6 years ago at this exact time i was sitting in the back seat of my mom's car with my beloved dog in my lap, sure this was it. i wanted nothing more than for that car ride to last forever.

in 8 hours, i will have gone to class and ran out the door, not realizing unti i was in the car that i hadn't kissed her goodbye and that voice in the back of my head saying "don't worry, you'll see her later."

in 11 hours i will have sped home after seeing i missed a call from my mom, go to the door and not see a dog jumping around, get inside with my coat still on and say "is she still sleeping" and my mom would say from across the kitchen "she's dead."

the last two years this day has come and gone and i hadn't even thought about it.

i had a dream a few days ago that i was in the back yard cleaning up her house. the floor and cushion were clean, but the ceiling was filthy, then i saw her just sitting there, chilling. I went over to hug her, but she was cold. it wasn't like her coat was cold from the winter air, she was cold, but still moving like she was alive except she wasn't fully there.

i love my poodahs; my myas. here's to you.


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1 Response Feb 24, 2010

Im sorry. I know how you feel. But i know that dosnt make it any better.