It Was a Stand Still In My Life
I was in college, my last year. I had been dating a girl for 8 months. Because of our carelessness she got pregnant. She was in her first year, headed for a masters. It was a quite moment when we received confirmation. We were not in love. We had deep feelings for each other but we both knew there where goals we desired to achieve.
We decided to keep the child, we just couldn't see it as a choice. We had agreed to get married, after the birth. Our lives as we knew it had been turned up side down.
On her 4th month of pregnancy, just when we had already loved our child, we had heard its heart beat, and had ultrasound pictures of it, she was in a car accident. One that I was much to blame. We had been in a argument that day. Living together was starting to kick in. She raged out of the house it was raining that day. It wasn't her fault the other car didn't stop at the red.
We lost our baby. She didn't forgive me for that. I know I was much to blame. I could have considered her condition and shut my Fu*ken mouth. This was a big mistake.
She moved out shortly, nothing I could have prevented, ;like I said we were not in love. Other than the casual bumps into each other there was nothing else there.
I still have a picture of the baby. I regret that day. I know marring without love would have been a challenge, but a good woman she was. Very smart, kind, sweet.
I don't talk about this much. I guess men are not suppose to; but I do wonder how my life would have been. My baby would now be turning 13.