How Can He Be Gone?

I lost my dad about 10 months ago. The holidays are getting closer, his birthday, my birthday....it all seems so hard. Christmas time was my time to get to see him, spend time with him and my mom. This year as it gets close to take the trip home it seems too hard. Some days I think I should just stay away from home and other days I can't wait to get there. I want to see my mom, my brother and the rest of the family but I cry every time I think of walking in the house and him not being there with his wonderful hugs and contagious laughing smile.

The last time I saw him was December 28, 2011, 3 days after Christmas, one day after his birthday. He died less than a month later, unexpectedly of a massive heart attack. This is the hardest thing I have ever endured. I just want to make it through the holidays, the one year anniversary of his death, my birthday.....
estacy26 estacy26
26-30, F
Dec 6, 2012