He Died Less Than 48 Hours After Being Born.

My brother Christopher, didn't live to be 2 days old. He was born in december, but he was due in march. He was very pre-mature. We were Living in connecticut, and my mom gave birth at waterbury hospital. My mother, father, and brother were air lifted to Yale Hospital. My Mom had two choices to make, either keep him on machines to help breathe for him, and help his heart beat, or take him off all machines. He was on a bunch of machines for 32 hours. When the doctors came back the next day, she told them to take him off the machines. they did, and she held Christopher in her arms, a half an hour later he died. Months later, after the autosopy was done and everything, my mom's doctor told her, that she did the right thing in taking him off the machine, He was suffering, and there was nothing that could have been done. I was just 2 years old, but there are times, I have dreams, about being my grandparents at a hospital, and I see everyone crying. I know that is how it was that dark day in December 1990.
deleted deleted 26-30 33 Responses Jan 6, 2011

Your Response



I lost a loving sister that was so dear to me. I know what it means to lose the one you love and care about. Am so sorry 4 ur loss ivan

6736 people have read your story. You have created a world wide a love story in memory of your brother Christopher. That is a beautiful thing. May love be with you jj

I know how you feel. I lost a sister when she was eight hours old. I've always felt a connection to 'something' or 'someone' but never really could put it together. Her name was supposed to be Amanda Jean S***** ( * for privacy) During my freshman year of high school I met a girl my sister exact age (birthdays just six months apart) her name was Amanda Jean S***** (spelled different but close) Ever since we've met people have confused us as sisters we look a like and I found that connection! We recently lost touch for a few years (for personal problems of mine) but niw talk every so often. But its like my sisters spirit was transferred to her or something as a baby! She'll always be my sissy! And Ill always love her!

that's the parts of human nature?the body is but love is not????/

No words can ever explain why a child is taken seemingly so soon. there are no magic words that will ever cause their memory to ease with all the question and uncertainties. I have lost a child, not in the same fashion, but i'm sure the hurt isn't much different.....I take solace in my faith and belief they were only to be here for a little while... They wait for us.... when it is our time. we'll see them again. but for now, they wait. they hurt nor suffer. they labor nor toil. they rest in the arms of creation and nothing can harm them their.... they're safe.

You will see him again one day, in heaven. This time spent here on earth will then seem to have lasted only a few short fleeting minutes.

This must have been devastating for your whole family, especially your mother

I lost my brother almost two years ago at the age of 39. I understand your pain, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. I still dream of him. I know your pain. I am sorry.

I'm sorry. I know that had to be a horrible experience. My mom lost her sister when she was around eight or so. Her sister was four and had polio. It's still hard for her to deal with and that was years ago.

I lost a sibling when I was four years old. I remember my mom crying quite often during that time. I never even found out about my lost sibling until over 20 years later when my mom told me about it when we sat together on the front steps. I still don't know if he/she was male or female, or any other circumstances. Even then she didn't want to talk about it much.

I feel the pain reading these letters as I lost my son aged 10 years when he was knocked down by a car, on the life support machine he looked liked he only had a bruise on his head, I had to make the hardest decision of my life with the doctors asking for me to donate his organs,in grief I had to think of what my son would have said had he had the choice, I know it was a power greater than mine that gave me the strength to allow this to happen, I lost my son , he saved the life of a chld and a man by his kidney donation

Forever loved Wayne God Bless You xxxxx

I just recently lost someone I was with for a very long time. He was the grandpa to our granddaughter. Once she whispered a secret to me and told me not to tell. "Grandpa and you are my favorite.” with her head crunched all down and a smile hidden behind five tiny fingers. It was a lovely memory moment. Grandpa and my granddaughter had a very special relationship that everyone, even my son, envied. He would spend hours with her bringing her stuffed animals and dolls to life. They shared one special toy bear he named Leroy. When Leroy was active and playing, all the adults would be downstairs listening and laughing so hard we were in tears.

To this day she has not said one word really about her grandpa. I told her that he had gone to heaven and that I thought he must have really important things to do during my first visit after his death and gave her a necklace which I had engraved with I love you, Grandpa. She and I are very close. We have a secret diary that we share stories that we wouldn't tell anyone else or things that we want to really remember. For Christmas I didn't just put up a tree, I built her a forest with an igloo.

I guess I just wondered if you talked about how you feel and shared your thoughts with your mother. My mother is 74 years old and lost one of a set of twins and two in miscarriage and she talks about it with all the time with me, especially now since she seems to be developing a mental disease. She tells the story as if little time has passed and if she stays to long in the conversation she will in fact go back to those days emotionally. I wonder what the lesson is? How special are these little soul to us, to know that they are carried in the hearts and minds of family. This confirms to me that every life, not matter how short or how long leaves a finger print on this planet.

I also wonder if we think about them because the essence of the spirits still remains around us.

I was 15 when my mother said she was pregnant of a boy..was I ever happy but then one day, she

miscarried and was I ever sad. I still think of it today.. I also miscarried 11 babies, triplets had to get an abortion as my womb was filled with cancer..they saved my life but not a day doesnt go by

that I don't think of them.

My brother Daniel died at just over 6 months old. He was the youngest of 5 kids. Our bedrooms were upstairs, he slept downstairs in his crib in the living room. The night he died, he was crying very hard. I went down to check on him. Halfway down the stairs my father yelled to me to get my *** back into bed. The crying stopped a few minutes later. The next morning my siblings and I awoke to the police and medics in our living room. Daniel had died with his head wedged between the bars of the crib. I hated my father ever since. He had always been a very mean and mentally/physically abusive "man". He died of cancer 20 years later. When he found out he was sick he tried to make amends for the way he had treated us but it was too little too late. The only regrets I have is what could have been had he been a better human being.


music & lyrics: Gerrit Hofsink

I’ve been waiting for you

For such a long time

You’re always on my mind

And I’m lying awake

Most of the night

Waiting to hold you tight

Now that I do

And look at you

My heart is breaking

This can’t be true

Lost you before I found you

Gone before you came

But I love you just the same

Missed you before I met you

On earth we never can

But in heaven we’ll meet again

Close to my soul

Close to my heart

Right from the start

Lost in time

Lost in space

Can’t wait to see your face

Now that I do

And look at you

My heart is breaking

I know it’s true

Lost you before I found you

Gone before you came

But I love you just the same

Missed you before I met you

On earth we never can

But in heaven we’ll meet again

Sometimes I find myself wondering what to do

With this pain that I’m going through

But I know one day, God will take me away

And I’m coming home to you

And when I do

And look at you

My heart is healing

I know it’s true

Lost you before I found you

Gone before you came

But I love you just the same

Missed you before I met you

On earth we never can

But in heaven we’ll meet again

You need to ask you mother to tell you how it was for her to watch your brother, her son, pass away in her arms. I think the two of you can share the grief and be better for it.

I lost MY brother Christopher on 11/6/1961. He wasn't even 3 weeks old!

I am so sorry. I never had lost anyone in my life so I really don't know the feeling. But to here that someone in this world has lost a loved on is so heart breaking. I'm sorry an my heart goes out for you

I'm now 58 and I still remember my sister's death. I was only about two or three but the time stays in my mind. The joy suddenly becoming grief must have had a profound experience, little did I realise it, as I never forget her. She died of a hole in the heart in hospital. At that time, 1950s, nothing could be done to save her. My parents agreed that her body was used to progress medical treatment. Now having a hole in the heart is "easily" fixed.In those days we talked little about it. I don't no if my parents explained what happened and it took years for me to register that I did have a sister.My mother gave birth to another girl a couple of years later. My daughter's middle name is my sister's,so in a way she will still live on.

Daer Aly Angel, I have ony lost my parents. They were both in pain. But with you I don't know how you could have taken this. Even when you found out later. I'm sorry but I am cying now Andmy hands are shakkking I cannt write. I willlpray for you,..S.

i lost 2 brothers they were twins and premature as well......i was born a bout 2 years later (also premature) but i survived leads me to beleive that i must live my life to the fullest . for both of them. I currently 14 and have constantly heard my mother cry because of them. but if i have learned anything it is that i cannot change anything. live has to go on and if u dont go on with it your going to lose alot of your time

I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of your brrother. it is hard losing someone and that to so young.......

I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of your brrother. it is hard losing someone and that to so young.......

In my opinion, the hardest thing is never knowing. I'm sorry you never had the chance to get to know your brother, and the question will always be there. My brother is 27 years old and his life is slowly being taken away by Muscular Dystrophy, it's hard and soul crushing at times, but we are trying our best to keep his spirits up. I'm glad your mother had the courage to make such a hard decision and withthe doctors reassurance, I'm sure it was the right thing. Keep your guy's heart pure and remember your brother with joy, not sadness. Take care love. :)

Thank you for sharing this story. It's always a tough thing losing a sibling, even if they did not live long or were born at all. My mum had a miscarriage when I was 4. I can still remember coming home from pre-school that day wondering why she was crying.

Your brother Christopher will always remain in your heart, as you well know. I want to share the story I wrote regarding the lost of my granddaughter Lindsey, with a short mention at the end of the loss of my 23 year old son last year.

Lindsey Anne Allen

Born at Pomona Valley Hospital, September 3, 1998

Birth weight 8 lbs. 4 oz., 20 1/2" long. Milky white skin and medium brown hair.

September 3, 1998. Mary, my daughter, called me around 5:00 PM. She said she had called the hospital several times to find out about Julie, but Ted & Julie were not taking calls. She hoped they were just too busy to come to the phone. She asked the nurse if the baby was okay and the nurse could not answer her questions. My heart sank. Panic started to set in. I had thought Alison had said Julie was going to have labor induced next Wednesday. (Alison was in San Diego with Katie and Glen visiting their dad). I was filthy from working in the tunnels. I told Mary that I was going to hang up, take a shower, and get over there. I took a shower and was out of the house in about 5 minutes.

About a block down the street, I remembered it was hot and I wasn't sure if the dogs needed water. I was going to turn around but I felt this urgency to get to the hospital. When I got there I was going to go to the nursery, hoping to be reassured the baby was okay. I thought, "Maybe I will see her safely wrapped in a blanket and it will make this horrible feeling go away". Then I thought, "No, I have to get to Julie's room". I didn't get lost but it seem to take forever. The sign on the door said "Please Knock". When they open the door, the first face I looked at was Ted's. He wasn't crying but I knew it was bad news. Ted said, "I am sorry we didn't call you but.....". After that it is all a blur. Julie pulled the blanket over her head and we all broke down in tears. Julie's mom, Paula, was there and her cousin Kate and her husband.

I asked if it would be possible to see the baby and a lady in the room said sure come with me. Ted and I followed her down the hall to her office. It seemed like forever. I didn't know how hard this was going to be. I only knew I had to see, hug, hold, and kiss my granddaughter goodbye. Finally Lindsay arrived. Laying in her bassinet, all wrapped up in a blanket. She was beautiful! She looked like, what she was, a sleeping angel. I felt like she was going to start moving around at any time. I knew I was going to have to give her a life time of hugs and kisses in this one visit. (Tears are filling my eyes just reliving this special moment with my never to be forgotten granddaughter, Lindsey). I told her I loved her and that I was going to miss her. I asked my dad to watch over her for us. Ted finally took her from me and gently laid her back in her bassinet.

I had the same feeling I had when I said my final goodbye to dad. It was so hard to leave her knowing this was my last visit. I will always have fond memories of that visit with Lindsey. My love will always be with her as much as if she was still physically here on earth. The only difference is I now love an angel.

A poem I wrote to my son Ted and his wife Julie

on September 5th, 1998, for their daughter Lindsey.

Parents of an Angel

We were all in strong anticipation of the arrival of our Lindsey Ann

Thinking of the moment when we could hold her in our hands

To enjoy every birthday and watch her as she grew

God had a greater plan that's designed for a chosen few

For you are the parents of an Angel

A mom and dad forever more

Lindsey will be there for you always

Like a shining star

You will always think of Lindsey

And she will be watching over you

She will hear all your whispers

And know how much she's loved

You have lots of people who love you

That shares your current pain and grief

A change of plans and expectations

Can be overwhelming to say the least

Her short presence in this world

Is chiseled in our hearts

She is with us all in spirit

And safe from any harm

On July 2, 2010 I lost my son Glen to a drug overdose. You can see his video on youtube, the "Glen Alexander Story". I continue to believe that God has His plan for each of us. I remind myself always, that we will be reunited in heaven and able to give them that big hug we waited so long for.

Margaret Alexander

I am sooo sorry for your pain and loss! For your parents, taking a child off life support Is an agonizing choice NO one should ever have to make! How awful the one should ever judge another for which ever choice is made!! Most people don't have a clue how horrible this situation is, or what THEY would do if they were the one having to choose! I have worked in a high-ranking hospital with an NICU. A baby can have no brain function and "look normal". When u change a tiny baby's diaper that's easy! I see patients all the time who were kept alive on machines because the family could not let nature take it's course, forcing the child to live. These precious souls have no knowlege of who the are or who anyone is! Their arms and legs are contracted up to their body because their brain is very damaged! They must be changed, just like the did as a baby. They are tube-fed thru a tube placed from the skin down into their stomach to get nourishment! They will never eat food! Know their family or have even one voluntary movement!! It is very tragic! I commend your mom for her noble, unselfish descision! It was a decision of love! Just because medical science can keep someone alive on machines is this life? I say it is not and to let nature take it's course is the most unselfish decision. As a sibling you wonder what it would have been like to have a little brother...your dreams have dashed by his death, this is soooo hard! I lost my 3 yr old brother when I was 6. His death is sadder to me the older I get because I realize what has been lost due to death! I pray you will find comfort in your family, your parents need comfort too! You can help each other get through this terrible ordeal! God bless you and your family! Here is a text to bring you hope! Jesus compared death to like being asleep. We are "asleep" in the grave till the Second coming of Jesus, many believe u go straight to heaven but this is not biblical. Ecclesiasties 9:5 says "the living know that they shall die but the dead know not anything. When we "sleep" in Jesus we close are eyes in death and the next thing we know Jesus will be coming and we will hear the trumpet when Jesus calls those who have died back to life. I Thessalonians 4 verse 13-18. But I would not have you ignorant brethren, concerning them which are asleep (dead), that you sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: So shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. Isn't this amazing!! Can't wait for the day when we are reunited!! Take care

My heart goes out to you... and I too have lost not only a brother, but a sister. My brother was a stillborn and my sister was formed in the fallopian tube..she didn't survive. I am very thankful my mother is still alive, for if the fallopian tube burst, she could have died of internal bleeding.

When the doctors are good doctors decisions like that are just as hard for them to make. Good doctors, great doctors, don't go around deciding people's faiths and lives, they tell you what is most important...the ultimate decision is always up to you, 'cause only you will know your conscience. That's not a doctor playing G-d....those are the doctors that can say: I am a god. They know everything, there really are times when the easiest thing for them to do is often considered by many to be 'heartless', even hypocritical. Only thing hypocrtical about a great doctor is understanding that not everything is always what it seems, its not that they do not care...its that they know that people do not like good advice and demand service...often when it is too late. A great doctor cannot be Judge, Jury and Executioner and still be expected toractice good medicine as well.

No two doctors will ever be the same; you sometimes do not really know what they do and do not truly know.

I feel for you, Not to make things harder or offend in any way but i think you should have left the machines on because who knows maybe miraculously the baby would have survived, with god anything is possible. I do understand he must have suffered and would not wish that on anyone especially a poor little baby like that . Please do not think that i am judging you in any way its just my opinion since god has done unbelievable and great things for me and of-course a lot of other people.

I just wish you would have him by your side today alive and well instead of suffering such a great loss. May god bless you and your family and grant you another little mirracle.