The Heartbreak Of Losing Both ParentsOn the 16th September 2011, it was the 8 years anniversary of losing my beautiful Mum. It's been so very, very hard each year since we lost her, But this year it was even more so. I lost my amazing Dad on 27th July 2011. Mum had cancer in so many places, and she was in a load of pain. So even though I never wanted to lose her, I can see that it was a blessing for her to pass. But Dad, there was nothing wrong with Dad. He'd had day surgery for a kidney stone on the Friday, by Wednesday morning my sister found him dead in the shower. It was a massive heart attack, but Dad never complained over having any chest pains, or feeling ill, apart from the obvious pain from his surgery. I never fully grieve over losing Mum, but now I've both parents to grieve over, I feel I'll never be "me" again. Dad luckily for us always lived close by, but now he's passed we have to go near his home taking our daughter to school. All the shops we go to, we've been there with Dad. And now it's coming up to x-mas time, all the old shops I can't face going into. Take this morning, we had to run for a couple of bits, from a large supermarket. Which with it coming up to x-mas had loads of selection boxes, cards etc., all of which reminds me (as if I needed a reminder) that Dad's not going to be here this x-mas. Or any other x-mases.
I don't know where to start to try and move forward, and start to look forward. I'm so scared of the pain I'm feeling, and there's even more pain, that I'm trying to block out. If anyone has any suggestions, or even just to talk, I would be so grateful.