Not All People...I have lost faith in most people. I do have a few people in my life that are genuine, and I feel very blessed to know them. But in general population, I find that too many people are disappointments. People who use the words "friend" and "love" loosely. People who cannot be counted on. People who betray others for their own personal gain. I am, and have always been a genuine person. It is disheartening. I never tell someone that I love them if I don't feel it. To do so is deceitful, hurtful and just plain wrong. I have had someone tell me they love me, only to turn around and hurt me so deeply that I wanted to die. I have also had people in my life that called me friend, yet weren't a friend in return. I just don't understand how or why humans can be this way. I have a tough exterior to protect myself from such, but I am very (probably overly) sensative under that shell. When I let someone in, it is by choice. When that someone abuses my inner being, they are cast out and not allowed back in. I have to say, that the casting out is painful because I let so few in. I lose peices of myself every time.
UPDATE: I am overwhelmed by the response this story has received. Since writing this, I decided that for my own mental and emotional health, I had to let go of my hopes and dreams that I had shared with the man this was written about. I let go. It was hard, and I cried for days, but I let go. I also had a long conversation with the woman he chose to betray me with. No hate, no animosity. Just two hurt women healing.
To all of the broken hearted, angry and sad; don't you ever give up! Every single person is on this planet for a reason. Maybe you don't know what your purpose is. That's okay. You aren't supposed to know. :-)
amberreflections 41-45, F 90 Responses 22 Feb 14, 2012