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Not All People...

I have lost faith in most people. I do have a few people in my life that are genuine, and I feel very blessed to know them. But in general population, I find that too many people are disappointments. People who use the words "friend" and "love" loosely. People who cannot be counted on. People who betray others for their own personal gain. I am, and have always been a genuine person. It is disheartening. I never tell someone that I love them if I don't feel it. To do so is deceitful, hurtful and just plain wrong. I have had someone tell me they love me, only to turn around and hurt me so deeply that I wanted to die. I have also had people in my life that called me friend, yet weren't a friend in return. I just don't understand how or why humans can be this way. I have a tough exterior to protect myself from such, but I am very (probably overly) sensative under that shell. When I let someone in, it is by choice. When that someone abuses my inner being, they are cast out and not allowed back in. I have to say, that the casting out is painful because I let so few in. I lose peices of myself every time.

UPDATE: I am overwhelmed by the response this story has received. Since writing this, I decided that for my own mental and emotional health, I had to let go of my hopes and dreams that I had shared with the man this was written about. I let go. It was hard, and I cried for days, but I let go. I also had a long conversation with the woman he chose to betray me with. No hate, no animosity. Just two hurt women healing.

To all of the broken hearted, angry and sad; don't you ever give up! Every single person is on this planet for a reason. Maybe you don't know what your purpose is. That's okay. You aren't supposed to know. :-)
amberreflections amberreflections 41-45, F 90 Responses Feb 14, 2012

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For the most part I have found that people suck. If you allow them into your life they stab you in the back. They pretend to be your friend yet seek to destroy you if gain is possible. They are greedy, lying, dishonorable bastards and ******* and it is truly difficult to find a reason to like most of them. I prefer animals because you know where you stand. Even rattlesnakes are safer than humans because you know without doubt the bastard is gonna bite you the first chance it gets. Even family members will **** you the first chance they have of reaping benefit and those who say I love you (like a brother or sister) are usually the worst of all because you tend to think you can trust them but ... that is so untrue. They will think nothing of stabbing you at the drop of a hat.

Jesus says I have to forgive. He commands me to love my neighbor as myself. That's easy because I have never loved myself; forgiving is the tough part. The good thing is He doesn't command me to forget, that would be impossible. To error is human, forgiveness divine; neither is Marine Corps policy.

This is difficult for most people to admit to themselves - there is an inherent evil in humans. Once you honestly realize this, life improves all round. History is loaded with incidents and examples of the destructive nature of the human animal. The idea that there is "a plan" and that evthing happens for a (good?) reason is fecal in its reasoning. People are also capable of actions that are sublime. Yeats: "Beauty is the beginning of terror." He refers to the polarity - the rose and the hangman's noose coexist, always side by side. Eating animals is not helpful. Humans who choose to do so would be better served to eat each other and allow allow all sentient beings to enjoy the earth as god would have intended if he had chosen to have his head up his arse. As Gore Vidal pointed out "The gods can't bear the happiness of humans."

I hope this helps.

Somebody once told me "never trust anyone 100%" very wise words

Yes, wise words. Another wise statement: never draw a circle around an unfaithful man and lable it "mine."

I got so hurt by people that called themselves friends and used the word love like it was nothing that I can't even say I even have one friend...and its not like I'm not friendly or easy to get along with and trust but I much rather stay alone than have fake friends with half trust where only few of the cards are laid on the table. Too exuasting and fake....

There are words in the spoken language that should never be said or used lightly. Unfortunatly, many people do. I have friends, I have acquaintances and I have those that I love dearly. The latter is a small handful. Those are the ones that really matter.

Useful stories



www.usefulstory.com

Very heart wrenching. Walk a mile in anothers footsteps before assuming they are simply whining.

Let me tell you, life itself is a rough sea. Psychologically, the moment we step into this society, we have to be well prepared. The world is full of uncertainty. Don't expect everyone to be the same. When there is a success, definitely there would be a failure to a certain extent. If you are born lucky, everything works well to your favour. Don't lament over spilt-milk. Whether it is friends, love or relatives, just look forward for the better, but, don't be disappointed on any failure. Treat every failure as a lesson and learn from there.

Be happy.

Some of us weren't properly prepared for society by our parents, so it is all a learning experience. Born lucky...not this chick. :-) Thank you, I am happy. You be happy as well!

I feel you even though I agree with whitefox67, cause I am in a similar position as youself I guess but aspire to his words and hope ill make it sane and happy...

This reminds me about what a priest had said to our community during a sermon: Man changes his mind all the time because he is man.Seek somebody that never changes his mind: God. When God said "I love you" that word stays true forever, for better or worse.

:-)

Hi, yes i guess you can not always see what some people are really like. I have had "friends" & family that made me think they love me as i did them for years, the mask does come off eventually and u find out it was an act of self gratification. it hurts when people play games with other people's feelings, and they dont care what damage they cause. The only positive thing about it is that you learn to be more carefull and tend to spot those fakes easier. The experience could also help you to help friends, in situations like these, who dont have a clue that they are being taken for a ride.

:-) Yep! I also learned who my true friends are. People who have been very supportive and are helping me to heal.

So many people losing faith in each other... Where's the love, compassion, and forgiveness? What goes around, comes around! It's easy to love those that love you back, but a genuine and perfect love is being able to forgive and love those that hate and persecute you. Talking about being a friend? No greater love is there than that of a man that will lay down his life for his friend.



I cherish my friends, they are a big part of my life and they have always been there for me in my time of need and I would take a bullit for any one of them. I'm the type of person however, I would take a bullit for a complete stranger just because of my love for people in general. I'm not afraid of dying, because I know when this life is over is when life really begins.

Speaking for myself here, but I am sure that the sentiment is felt by thousands of others: I am a compassionate, loving, trusting, giving human being. However, I would not die for a complete stranger.

That being said, I smile and say hello to each and every person who crosses my path on a daily basis. From the well dressed business person to the crack addicted person seeking shelter in a doorway. Every one of them gets a smile and a hello. It lets them know that there is at least one human out there that cares enough to acknowledge them.

It's hard in these times to find a true friend. When you do It's almost like finding buried treasure.

They are gold. I myself have a few friends but not a really true friend. I guess I haven't searched

in the right places. But I'll keep digging.

A true friend will tell you the truth without fear. They will also listen to the truth without anger. Case in point: my best friend. I am the only friend that she has that will listen to what she has to say without getting angry, sad, etc. She has told me this. I take what she says with an open mind because I know that the only intention she has is to be honest and show her love for me as her friend. That's what a true friend is. Wishing you the ability to have such a friend! :-)

yes, being able to listen is a great quality. People who are not genuine, dont have the ability to listen because their primary focus is on themselves and what they can gain.

So true...!

AT LEAST ON FEELS NOT ALONE WITH THIS ISSUES. I LIKED THE POST THAT SAID THAT WE SHOUDN´T PUT ANYNONE IN A PEDESTAL AND TO KNOW THAT THE ONLY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WE CAN GET IS FROM GOD. WE TEND TO PUT PEOPLE IN PEDESTALS, AS IF THEY WERE GODS. THAT THE BIG MISTAKE.

:-l No need to shout. Thanks for reading.

I´m sorry. I had no intentions of shouting. I´m only not very aware of the posting protocole. Would have liked to receive the benefit of the doubt, but that´s ok. No problem.

Sorry, didn't mean to offend. I guess all caps kind of freaks me out still. That's the only way he texts... all caps. As I told another person who assumed I had put the man that this was originally written about on a pedestal... no. It was about someone that made promises. Someone that is so deceptive that his "sincerity" seemed real. Someone who planted the seeds of an actual future together, and then pissed on the flowers and killed them. That's what this story was about.

Lol(; she might havd just forgotten the CAP LOCK on so it looked like shouting...? Lol(:

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Keep looking for those true friends, there are good straightforward people out there. Know what you want, don't let other people's hurtful ways affect you, your better than that. It takes some time, but if you search it out, be honest with yourself and what you want, you will find others looking for the same thing. I truly believe that.

I recently was wronged by a female friend (I bit my tounge) did not lash out and proceeded to see her even though I was hurt. We had a long talk after the third date (im male) and she explained why she had been evasive. We are now bossom buddies, we plan to hike, camp and party with both our group of friends, with neither exerting pressure on the other re the realationship.

I feel very fortunate to have found a new friend.

That's cool. Maybe once I have completely forgiven him, if ever, I can try to be a friend. It's hard to forgive when the lies never stop, even after it's over.

I have been hurt by people so many times I can not count. Rarely do I get an I'm sorry. My uncle who was dying of cancer was one who asked my forgiveness. It was so real and sincere it was easy to totally forgive. I let him know that and asked him to turn to God with his eternity. Even God needs a repentance to reconcile. Don't feel bad for needing that accountability. It would be a great world if we stopped hurting each other. But we won't. Know that God Loves You.

In my experience, deathbed confessions are about the only ones that are truely sincere. People who are dying usually want to do so with a clear conscience. Utopia in our lifetime... would be grand! Blessed be!

You are not alone! It's very difficult to find a "TRUE" friend. They are mostly "Fair-weather" friends. When the chips are down, they are not available. Also true of family members. It hurts deeply, because you do feel betrayed by the people yuo love and thought loved you back. Even though you have been there for them through good and bad. If there's is nothing for them to gain, then they will not be there for you. Good post--thanks.

It is very difficult today to find a TRUE friend. They are mostly "Fair-weather" friends and when the chips are down, they disappear. It hurts mostly because you have always been there for them through good and bad times. But if they cannot get anything out of the relationship with you, then they are not available for you. It's sad and it hurts. The same thing with family. Thanks for your post. You are not alone.

:-) Thank you for taking the time to read it. I am slowly feeling more at ease with myself after writing this. I'm guessing that this is what I needed to begin healing. Hopefully, this helped someone, somewhere.

"People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime....when you know which, you know what to do."



These wise words I have come to know are true and relevant - however the quotation they stem from does not deal with people who will act in a deceiving way - or, maybe it does? In that case it is up to you, yourself to learn those painful lessons and move on and still continue in having a positive outlook on all the new travel companions you meet on your travel on this specific aspect of your existance' journey we tend to call "Life".

I'm guessing that the deceitful ones are the reasons. I could be wrong. :-)

It is disappoiniting to realise that poeple now use the words friend and love very loosely. These words have became the new black as it is used with no thought and concideration of the other. i have tried my best to be good and honest to others as i would like them to do the same, unfortunately very few 'give and take' most just take take take take. We are all human what you wish for yourself there are trillions who wish the very same thing.

Let us not be selfish and think of the other that breaths the same air as you.

It is rare. Out of the let's say 200 people that I work with, I have found one (yes, only one) who is genuine.

I feel the same as you do about the people in my life. I think that all over the places are people and people and that if you allow them to know you, if you undress your soul, sometimes, most of the time, you get hurt. Maybe because some people are shallow, without feelings, self centered and they do not even know how much they can hurt you. But as far as the other side of the coin, you see, if you choose like I did to hide from people, to be alone in order to protect yourself, you will suffer much more than when you think about someone that is good and it happens for him or her to be bad.. I have an age now when if I choose to allow someone to know me better if it happens (rarely) for that person not to betray my trust, I am very happy for that. I do not count anymore those who hurt me, because I know it was my mistake when judging them ( maybe because I am not a very good psyhologist and I not know people very well). At the same time they will never have the second chance to hurt me. But you are so, so right when you say that we are here for a reason. We have to learn it, we have to accept it, we have to live with the pain and the happines of life.

I try very hard not to judge people before I start to know them. If I do find myself judging, I force myself to find something positive about that person, and start there. It's not always easy, and we are not going to like all people. I just do the absolute best I can.

i know exactly how you feel. i have grown a tough exterior over the years too and now people see me as someone who is really mean and bitter. im not mean at all. im actually a really kind and affectionate person, i've just been scorned so many times by humans and their lying and disappointing ways. just dont give up- things will get better, eventually

That's why we are here. To encorage each other to be better human beings. You can lead a horse to water.... and there in lies the end of your resolponsibility. It is up to them to drink or not. Can't make 'em. :-)

yeah hey we can only do so much for someone most of the work is for them to do .

Exactly. :-)

The Bible is God's written Word and you dare to call it BS? God is in complete control and uses His inspired written Word to teach and guide the people who do have faith. God's being in control means He will not let His words to be defiled. ANYone who reads the Bible can see it is consistent all the way through from Genesis to Revelations. Yes I said anyone who reads it, however the true believer will understand it even more.

"The Bible is God's written Word and you dare to call it BS?"

What evidence do you have that the bible is "God"'s written word? Who is God? Have you seen him? Or are you just repeating what somebody told you?

Blink, blink. Were you talking to me?

I know Jesus is in my heart. For by the Spirit I was convicted of my need for Jesus. The Holy Spirit reveals the Word is real to me. Do you have any kind of evidence to give other than opinion or what you heard or read from another human that God does not exist? Look arounnd you. All the nature God created and your life is a miracle.

Yay for you. I still can't find where I said the bible was bullshit. FYI, I was raised as a Protestant/Southern Baptist. I read the bible cover to cover. I shun your beliefs, yet am tollerant of them. An it harm none, do what thou will.

The bible was written by man as a means of controlling the masses.

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Trust is hard to build and easy to break.

I agree with you trust is easy for someone who has no conscience, to break it.

Trust is something that is really hard to build and that can be easily broken, just like a castle of cards.

Very, very true.

You are not alone. People can be very hateful, and there are a few "genuine" friends. We have to be a friend to have one. I am not saying you are not. I have suffered heart break too and I blame myself. I once read a book that Jimmy Carter wrote, and remember from it, that he never told anyone he loved them, until he met the right one, Rosalind. I know the word is used loosely and that "talk is cheap". But it takes so little and costs nothing to encourage one another, and who doesn't need encouragement nowadays... I have found unconditional love in my pets.

My cat is my little saving grace (although she can be a pain in the @ss...I think she gets jealous of the electronics).

I trusted and got screwed also. I learned. I have maybe 3 friends. Maybe.

I have three. A few that are boarderline to being allowed. Time will tell.

Two years ago I began to test my friendships for their truth. I must say it was a painful experience because so many where not true, so one by one I stopped friendships with those who could not be real friends. This began a work inside me somehow it caused me to become a more compassionate person to people in general. Some of the hardness of heart that used to be there had gone away. I feel as if it has made me a better person. So now I make friends more carefully and slowly I also make no bones about phony people and how I will just cut them off. I don't hesitate to explain my friendship is a gift I choose to give. Some can handle that others can't and that is not my problem. I do like the fact that I can relate and talk to people from all walks and levels off life. I do find that those who have money are less tolerant of other people and that they mistakenly believe that they can't learn from me because I have less than them. The loss is there's because there are interesting people everywhere. I choose to work through my issue and develop me so that I can be a friend that others would be glad they had me in there life.

Exactly! You won't always be able to tell right away if someone is being genuine or not, but their true colors always come through. The people who are in my life are happy to be there. I know because they show me and tell me. I am equally happy to be in their lives. We enrich one another with thoughts, feelings, love and friendship that seems to be on a higher plane.

English is not my first language so I apologize for any grammar or misspelling errors.



I choose to only trust 3 people in life even if they take me to my grave. That's my daughter, mother and father. I am not antisocial or live a miserable life; I just won't trust a soul; I just live life. I've lived in a country where people would kill for a piece of bread and have gotten to know the true evil sides of good/bad human beings. If I get into a relationship, I enjoy it to the fullest knowing it could end tomorrow, by me or my spouse. Most people don't think that way. Most people believe their wedding vows and end up dead or heartbroken.



NEVER TRUST A SOUL, ever! People will try to take advantage of you if they see that you are soft. Your lovely spouse today can be your bitter enemy tomorrow. Those women/men who believe their spouse would never cheat on them, those are the ones most likely to get hurt and be made a fool of. If you find yourself thinking "no my wife/husband is different and has never/will never cheat on me. You have to know him/her like I do", check his/her computer, follow him/her around, listen to his/her conversations. You have been or will be cheated on. If he/she has low self esteem (i.e. teachers), the worse. :-) That's life.



Like an old man once told me, life is to enjoy it, life is a high school. Cheat on your spouse if you can get away with it. Nobody has to know. Everybody cheats on their spouse. Whether mentally in the shower or at the mall or physically, we all do. That's what humans are all about. We are all hypocrites.



There is no God. God was created by humans out of fear. When you die, you die. The bible was created by a nutcase at a time when drought was considered a punishment from a malformed tree. Churches are full of hypocrites fearing something, running from something. For "God"'s sake, most pastors have a problem in the "after school" area if you know what I mean.



Trying to keep it real. Enjoy life, be nice, social and all those nice things but DO NOT trust anybody. People will take advantage of you if you are weak. We are just a little bit "advanced" species, but still animals.



For those of you who live in a fantasy world (NOT you Whitefox), at some point in your life you'll agree with me. Live your life. Life is a high school, a game. We are on this rock for a very short time.



Voice of the experience.



Thank you.

Not everyone cheats. Not everyone lies. Not everyone is out for their own personal gain. There are some of us out here that are good, loving, caring, genuine human beings.

If you say so..

I stopped believing in the fantasy before it ever began. If anyone cares to find it, I wrote a story about my childhood. It explains a lot. :-)

My soapbox moment: God. Really? What exactly does God have to do with interpersonal relationships? What exactly does God have to do with free will? People please... God didn't have **** to do with the lies that spewed from my ex's mouth. God didn't have **** to do with my ex having a physical and emotional relationship with another woman. My ex is a Roman Catholic who thinks all he has to do is "confess" and he will be free to continue to do the same thing over and over again without making any changes in himself. I forgave the ******* twice. Three strikes, your out. Period.

GOD knows why we are here.We are all part of His plan!!! BY GRACE - THROUGH FAITH......

So very true and right to the point. I feel the same way as you. Ive had my share of loves gut wrenching pains in my life, but i do have one different theory about it. Walls are good for self protection, but they have to be flexible. Look at it this way. What is true love?? It is a sharing of the non physical "hearts", thats inside of our souls. Too many of us put up a shield to protect this heart, from the experience and pain of being hurt. With a closed heart, you can ward off pain of the heart from others. But the downside of that, is you wont be able to tell, see, hear or feel real love that another heart is trying to give you, which also robs you of the peace of sharing and giving peace and comfort back from your heart. Remember, its not your mind that communicates love....Its your hearts. If one phone line is unplugged, the hearts cant communicate. I had to make a decision years ago. Do I go thru the rest of my life, with a closed heart and miss out on the chance of experiencing real and true love, w/o a broken heart, or do I leave my heart open and easy to get it hurt from others. To me it was an easy choice. The chance of sharing true and everlasting love with someone one day with an open heart outweighs the loss of a chance of never having it. So I accept that my heart may get broken several more times, before the right love comes along. That love may never come, but at least i give myself hope that it will............mississippi joe

So very true and right to the point. I feel the same way as you. Ive had my share of loves gut wrenching pains in my life, but i do have one different theory about it. Walls are good for self protection, but they have to be flexible. Look at it this way. What is true love?? It is a sharing of the non physical "hearts", thats inside of our souls. Too many of us put up a shield to protect this heart, from the experience and pain of being hurt. With a closed heart, you can ward off pain of the heart from others. But the downside of that, is you wont be able to tell, see, hear or feel real love that another heart is trying to give you, which also robs you of the peace of sharing and giving peace and comfort back from your heart. Remember, its not your mind that communicates love....Its your hearts. If one phone line is unplugged, the hearts cant communicate. I had to make a decision years ago. Do I go thru the rest of my life, with a closed heart and miss out on the chance of experiencing real and true love, w/o a broken heart, or do I leave my heart open and easy to get it hurt from others. To me it was an easy choice. The chance of sharing true and everlasting love with someone one day with an open heart outweighs the loss of a chance of never having it. So I accept that my heart may get broken several more times, before the right love comes along. That love may never come, but at least i give myself hope that it will............mississippi joe

My walls aren't necessarily there to keep others out. They are there to see who cares enough to get in. :-) Someday, someone is going to tear them down completely.