My Doll

It was the 20th week of my pregnancy. I was to have my ultrasound. We were very excited to know the gender of the baby. My husband wanted a boy. I wanted a girl. The doctor was very nice but she did not have good news for us. She said the baby is not ok and it is not going to survive through the pregnancy. The pregnancy had to be terminated immediately. I could not believe all this. We consulted many other doctors but all had the same thing to say. I was admitted for induction. It took me one long month to be induced. My little doll was born on 25th November. She was so pretty: long limbs, pretty round face, a beautiful little nose. She remained alive for a few minutes. And those few minutes were the happiest moment of my whole life. She moved her leg and arm, opened her moth took her lost breath and then she was silent. I sat there looking helplessly at my little baby who was still connected to me through placenta and letting her die. I couldn’t do anything for her. Now when I am through all this suffering I just have one thing to say, all this suffering was worth those few minutes I spend with my child when she was alive. There can be no happiness more than giving birth to a child and no pain more intense than losing that child.
aishakhan aishakhan
31-35, F
Dec 29, 2010