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Beautiful But Sad

   In another story I lost my virginity at 26 to my then GF. As a result she got pregnant. We were very apprehensive not being ready for a baby. Her family kicked her out of the house and she came to stay with mine. Her parents told her she should have an abortion, but I told her to see how they did it and see if she would want that. We decided to have him and went from scared to expectant parents. We got a place of our own and prepared for his arrival. We picked the name Daniel Lewis after Daniel Boone & Lewis and Clark (my history-side was showing). We were poor, but happy. And of course, this is where the rug gets pulled out from under you.
    And it did. When she was at 5 & half months, my GF got home from work late and we fooled around some and then got ready for bed. Next thing I know, she's calling me from the bathroom. I rush in there and she is bleeding heavily. I immediately go into crisis mode and grab a towel for the blood, grab my keys & wallet, and rush her out to the truck. I drive like crazy to the closest ER. Here we were handled in the best manner and everyone that needed to be there was. They tried to stop the labor at first. I asked her if she wanted her mom and she indicated no, but I knew this was serious and she would need all the love and support we could muster so I called her mom. I called her job and was told that if she didn't come downtown and sign in, she wouldn't have a job. I was a bit rude to whomever answered the phone and basically told them to go to hell. Then I called my mom. In the meantime, the doctors decided to induce labor and go ahead with birth.
       They talked with us both and said, Daniel's chance's were fifty-fifty at best, but they would try their best. They warned us that his eyes would still be sealed shut, so not to worry about it. At this point everything proceeded in Bristol fashion. My GF was a trooper and went through the labor w/o any pain meds. All I could do was stand there and hold her hands and worry. Daniel was born, but w/o the usual cries. As soon as he came into the world, they started CPR and got him breathing & stabilized. They rushed him off to Children's. Now, I was in a dilemma. Do I stay here with my GF who can't leave or go with Daniel. My GF saw my worry and squeezed my hand and said go. So, I kissed her said hi and bye to relatives and headed after my son.
      Children's were sweethearts and welcomed us with open arms and let me and when she could my GF stay on the neo floor in a small room. We were optimistic on his chances. My GF even pumped breast milk into bottles for him. But after a few days, a doctor came and spoke with us and said they had done what they could, but no matter how hard Daniel had fought for life, his organs were just too immature to handle the real world. She told us that we could take a more aggressive approach, but that the probable result would be severe brain damage and then later death. She left us to discuss our decision between ourselves. We decided that Daniel deserved to die with some dignity especially after his hard fight. So after one week of life, we took him off the ventilator and my GF held him and then I. He died in my arms. I cried harder than I ever had.
      As horrible as this was, Daniel's beautiful gift to us was bringing our families closer and me and my GF closer. So, we rejoiced in the short life he had and in the character and fighting spirit he displayed, because even for a short while we got to know Daniel Lewis and I was proud to be his dad.
PrairieDog71 PrairieDog71 41-45, M 9 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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lol

what about this do you find lol?

Have you had any children since? Are you still with your same girlfriend?

We got married and divorced later. We do have one child that survived who is 12 years old now.

Prarie, this a heart-retching story, thank you for sharing. How do you view this situation now, some 15 odd years later?

I can look back w/o the heavy emotions of the moment. I can see how Daniel brought out the best in all of us involved and showed us a will to survive second to none. I can now always remember those moments as the best & worst in life and have gotten me through tough times since.

I am so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you made the decision you did for your son. Bless you, and I hope one day you have a baby. Daniel was very lucky to have you as his parents.

You're so sweet and supportive. You can go through whatever together and stay strong thats so great (:

This was a heart felt story of what parental love is all about.Im sure Daniel looks down from above and is proud of his parents.

Not quite sure how I ran across this particular story but so glad I took the time to read it. It was just as you said, "Beautiful and Sad" I am sorry for the loss of your little Daniel Lewis even though it's probably been many years ago, he was your son, the son of the young woman you loved. Birth came too soon...she held him in her arms... Daniel then felt the loving caring arms of his daddy...a beautiful picture of love, but painful loss.

Thanks, It happened some time ago, but I still remember it well. I feel it is my duty to always remember.

Your pain is felt. Know that you are not alone in it. I know that it hurts. I know that it will take everything that you are, but you need to be there for your GF. As hard as it is for you, it will be so much harder for her. I have been there. I know. If you ever need to chat, let me know. My Matthew died in my arms. I have been there. I know.