And All The Sudden, Nothing Was Fine.I got pregnant when I was 18, my boyfriend loved me and supported me through everything.
I carried my baby girl the full nine months and then some.
She was perfect, healthy, she was the most beautiful baby that I had ever seen and nothing was wrong. I had no clue that I could love this little person so much without even really knowing her. Emma Jane Andrade, she was beautiful, she was my everything, she had me so wrapped around her finger it was unbelievable, she never cried, she was always smiling and the first time she laughed, I swear to you, my heart flew out of me and then lived in her.
When she was 3 months old, everything changed.
One morning it was unusually late for her to be sleeping, but she was a good sleeper, so I thought maybe she was tired, so I waited thirty more minutes, and then something didn't seem right. I went into our room to check on her..no movement, no breathing..she was cold..and a pale blue..i called 911, but for some reason I just knew they wouldn't be able to do anything. I sat on the floor with her and rocked back and forth and just cried, "mamas here..mamas here.." i felt so helpless..i couldn't do anything...and I was right...they couldn't do anything.
A babys funeral...my babys funeral...was the most horrific and traumatizing experience..ever..
I cry almost every night.. wishing...i could have done something...hoping it wasn't something I did...but it was sids...and that is the worst diagnosis ever..why would God give me this little angel to love and then take her away..
kenziie 18-21, F 2 Responses 0 Aug 6, 2012