I Still Believe Because...

I originally wrote this in response to someone who had lost their faith in God and saw so many others that also felt the same way that I feel compelled to write this for those of you who feel God has let you down. I can hear the pain in your words. I can honestly say that I have felt the same way at times and although I cant know all of your different circumstances, I know from personal experience that God truly DOES LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. So can I share a little? I have gone through a lot of pain and sorrow myself and I know a lot was not Gods plan just ignorance on my part. (He says, my people perish for lack of knowledge) But...God has also taught me to trust him even when I dont understand even when life doesnt make sense even when nothing seems to be happening. Let me tell of something that happened to me. I was a single mom with 3 kids, living in an apt in a not so good area of town. After a few years I began telling God I didnt want my childrens childhood memories to be of that place. One day as I walked across the living room God spoke to my thots, "I have better for you than this." So from that day forward me and my kids began to thank him for our new house. (I had no money of my own to make it happen but I gave him my wish list. A fireplace, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and sidewalks for them to ride a bike) There were many times I almost gave up, but we kept on thanking him. Then came December (right before xmas) almost one year later...an acquaintance who was the physical therapist for my daughter from the past, called and asked me if I would be willing to rent her house for....get this...325.00 a month and NO deposit. SHE would pay the remaining 575.00 for the mortgage out of her own pocket not that she was rich but she told God she wanted to bless someone. I about blew a gasket. We went to see the house and saw....sidewalks, ( a rare thing in the desert at that time)...a stone fireplace...2 baths...and things I didnt ask for but love such as flowers. It was like the garden of eden. (another rare thing in the desert)  And on the wall she left three little pictures of angels, one that said, "God keeps his promises." So was it because God loves me more? Not at all. A thing Ive learned about prayer is if we belong to him and he promises it to us, then its ours. God tells US to speak to those things that stand in the way of whats ours. Whether it be freedom, emotional healing, finances, etc. I know it works because Ive lived it. Speaking Gods word to the mountains in our life, does work. If you have fear (like I did) declare "God has not given me a spirit of fear" until that chain is broken or whatever chain has you bound. What if I had given up on that house after 6 months when I felt it would never happen? Then it wouldnt have happened and I would have thought well I guess God is a liar.  The thing is, if I had known God wanted better I could have been out of there sooner but I honestly didnt know the depth of his love for me. Ive  had times of brokeness and discouragement  but one thing I absolutely know, God loves us and we CAN trust him. Not everything that comes to us in life is Gods "will" for us. Jesus said, "satan goes around like a roaring lion seeking who he might destroy." But when we have God on our side we may go down but we wont stay down. What Ive learned that has helped me and changed me forever is learning to get in Gods presence. ( A good book, "Practicing Gods  presence  24/7 by Dennis Clark, can be found on amazon pretty cheap) Its all about intimacy not stale religion.  Also reading the Bible.  Many times we go through things because of own ignorance and lousy choices. And many times we are dealing with generational junk that keeps getting passed from generation to generation until someone puts a stop to it by breaking it with the word of God. Such as addictions, etc. And sometimes  hes just waiting to bring it about at just the right time, and sometimes like Daniel who prayed and although God answered right away, there was a demonic fight over his prayer that delayed it. And in those situations where the Bible doesnt clearly give us his will on something we just have to trust him. What parent has stopped loving their kid when they have failed to live up to their expectations? If we stop loving them, then did we ever really love them in the first place? Probably not. Yet we kick God to the curb when he doesnt perform for us the way we want him to.  Does God sit there in the clouds unaware and unable to relate to us? Let me ask you something, do we have any idea of what HE went through for us? He tells us in Isaiah 53

Who has believed our report? And to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant and as a root out of a dry ground: he has no form or comeliness and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised and we esteemed him not. Surely he has born our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he opened not his mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgement and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. And he made his grave with the wicked and with the rich in his death because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he has put him to grief; when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. He shall see of the travail of his soul and shall be satisfied by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many for he shall bear their iniquities. Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong because he has poured out his soul unto death and he was numbered with the transgressors and he bare the sin of many and made intercession (prayed) for the transgressors.

It says that it pleased God to bruise him, how can God get any pleasure out of the pain and sorrow of his own son? Because as any mother knows that the pain and hell of giving birth to a child is going to end up with a result of a new life coming into the world and God knowing that his sons pain and suffering  was going to result in many being set free from spiritual death. But the problem is that just as a newborn is born into the world needs to grow and learn to become an adult yet a lot of people want to stay babies in Gods kingdom and never really grow up and give up when things get hard yet Jesus never said life would be easy he said, "pick up your cross and follow me" A child will fall down and scrape his knee, or break his arm or leg yet they keep on going. They never say, "Its just too hard, I refuse to grow up any further, its just too painful. I give up. We need to understand that this world is a dark place and as soon as you change sides from darkness to light, there is going to be a big bulls eye on your head to keep you from becoming all you were created to be and to keep you from accomplishing what your on this earth to do. Evil wants to keep people bound up, addicted and messed up to the point that they give up, thinking that the evil in their life is greater than God. From personal experience Ive found that it is a process to become a messed up human being and it is a process for God to untangle the mess of our life. Hang on and cling to him! He'll bring you through, seek him and seek his word for the answers you need, he loves you and says, "I will not forsake the work that Ive started in you"

I know this is already long but I play the guitar and asked God for a song one time that would tell people how much he loved them and I want to share it with you and pray that as you read the words God will heal your broken hearts and lead you back to his love that is unfathomable and deeper than any ocean.

I created the heavens and the earth. I formed the seas and every grain of sand. I hung the stars and named them one by one.. yet by far ..the greatest thing Ive done
...is you...are my greatest creation...you...you were made for me.
I knew you.. before the day that you were born. You were in my heart... I made you who you are. No one else...could ever take your place...you are in my heart..in my heart to stay...yes.. you.. my greatest creation..you...you were made for me.
Do you know... how much I care for you?...Do you know,.. all I gave up for you? You alone...were made in my image...if you only knew... the vastness of my love.
Can you not hear my voice? Can you not hear me call? I am reaching..... reaching out to you...my greatest creation....my joy. I so loved you... that I gave...I so loved you... that I gave...I so loved you... that I gave...my only son.... I gave you my only son... I gave you my only son......What more can I do? ...... my only son................... died for you
victoralways victoralways
46-50, F
4 Responses May 18, 2012

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As someone who has lost faith and is in a miserable state, I truly appreciate your post. Especially since you gave testimony to your own circumstances. I have been looking for someone to post something similar to this in response to my questions. It seems all I ever hear are things like, "Just keep praying, He will answer you in HIS time" or "God can't guide an unmoving ship" and other such unhelpful nonsense. I am sick of clichéd answers, all of which does not answer any of my questions or solve any of my problems. I am running out of time, I cannot afford to keep waiting any longer...and I have been waiting for YEARS. But, I am getting off on another tangent. I cannot say that my faith is restored -- it is going to take a lot more than this -- but I did want to let you know that I appreciated your post. I hope He continues to help and guide you. Unfortunately, there are many of us that feel we will never be answered or helped.

To SD4me,
Im glad something I've said has helped. This was just a drop in the bucket of the things I could say. If you go to my page there are more things I talk about. I dont know what your situation is or if you want to share maybe I can relate in some way and have some advice. I do know that Gods way of doing things is set up to work if done right. I have been delivered from social anxiety and panic attacks, fear, healed of skin cancer, strep throat, boils etc. But it has been a journey of learning to trust him and his word and speaking them into my circumstance until it changed. The devil wants nothing more than to convince us that God doesnt care and he fights us on every level to get us to give up on God. If theres something you need to talk about go to my page and I'll get back to you.

Your so very welcome!

Thank you for letting me see God at work in my life today