Happier Now

I believed in God, the church, the whole thing, served for years in church government, worship team leader, and then realized that God was nowhere to be found when I really needed Him. He either forgot about me, chose to ignore my pain, or doesn't exist. I walked away from the church and have been happier now than I have been for the past 20 years serving a god who apparently doesn't care.
MercilessGod MercilessGod
51-55
2 Responses Dec 6, 2012

Hello. I, like you, was very involved in ministry. I've served as assistant pastor, women's ministry lead, altar worker, every facet of the church. For years I prayed, believed, lived all I could according to the bible, struggled with natural physical inclinations, and always believed he would keep me and make a way for me if I didn't doubt. I had a life altering experience in 2011 where I lost my job and was close to losing everything I owned. I was so stressed and distressed that I wanted to end my life. After two days of hospitalization, upon returning home, I did a lot of thinking, soul searching, and asked the question "if I'm so loved by god, then why is my life such a struggle, relationships unpleasant, family life tumultuous, and everything is just wrong?" It was then, that I decided I'd had my faith in the wrong thing. I can say I am the happier and better person as a result of no longer believing in a fairy tale and getting caught up in all the rhetoric of the church. Very freeing indeed. Best to you, Happier Now!

Don't worry God sets everything and still constructing your life it's just a trial in Life that you need to Pass