Don't Understand...

 I was brought up a catholic, went to a catholic school, have been baptised, communion and confirmation and used to go to church every sunday until i was 15. 

My faith has always been troubled with questions of why bad things keep happening to me it never stops. I have been at breaking point at so many times and i'm only 22. I have major family problems, health problems, and then when in december 2006 my little cousin died of a brain tumour on her brothers 3rd birthday that made me completely lose my faith. To see someone who had so much potential at such a young age die crushed me. This plus many other things that have happened to me in my past and still now mean that i find it SO SO hard to believe in god.

When it gets too much for me to bear i pray and still things get worse and i don't know what i've done to deserve it so yes i have lost my faith and i don't know if i will get it back because i haven't stepped foot in a church since i was 15 except for my little cousins funeral and my friends funeral and i don't know if i ever will again. 


mexeb mexeb
22-25, F
1 Response Sep 22, 2009

God is a merciful god,and i have had experiences too.Maybe not as bad as yours,but still i doughted him and i lost so much faith in him,,I would pray to god everyday,got baptised the whole nine,,but let me tell you this,the devil is busy in our lives everyday and i now know that this is what he wants me to do is to lose faith,,because without it we have nothing,,I am truly sorry about what happened to you,but your family member is in a better place than where we are,dont u agree?.and i know more than anyone that when you pray things seem like they are gettin worse,but please my brethren understand,,that tears may endure for one night but joy comes in the morning,,you will get your breakthru,,just keep believein,and i bet you money it will get better..talking with you and spreading this word with you even made me feel better.I came on this site because like you i was losing faith,but maybe this is gods way of tellin me,my child believe in me,as i believe in you,share the word that i have put in your heart,,sow the seed of wisdom in christ.And also remember,look what jesus went through for us,,have you seen the passion of the christ,,all the sufferin he went through,,but the end of the movie was wonderful,peaceful,and merciful,,see he did that for us,,now we must do something for him..BELIEVE,HAVE FAITH ,LOVE HIM FOR HE KNOWS WHAT BEST..