It Starts With One Thing..

Like most of generation-X my parents were emotionally distant and i was raised by the television. I lost my way a long time ago, about age 16, when i stopped trying, trying to find answers to why I let people walk over me, why i had to be such a "nice guy" to girls and why I didn't have an opinion and sacrificed my valuable time to be the "good time guy" to all my "friends".

I'll never forget that day, the day i stopped really living [ i described it in my blog ch.3] but that was the turning point, it created alot of problems for me later in life and took me off my "track" that i only realised existed about 10 years later after i missed and wasted most of the chances to really make something of myself.

Now i'm 27, I have a low paying unskilled job, I live alone in a crappy low cost housing settlement in the ghetto. I can't have friends over, if i actually knew how to make friends, my social skills are weak and i'm stumbling through life learning things/skills that i should have learnt years ago, I'm still really about 17 years old inside. I lost my way, thanks to low self-esteem that i put off resolving while i chased every "high" of other people's approval of me and just going through the same cycles for most of my life.
Semisane Semisane
22-25, M
5 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Change is never too late in the making, It may be tough, but you've just got to ride the wave out.

I'm in the middle of a transition phase, as since i wrote that and after a long while, I got promoted by default, as the senior editors where i work left and i got a raise which gave me enough money to be able to afford therapy (mental health is a luxing in this country) and my shrink has helped me find a course of study and work that would suit my personality better, now i'm trying to find a way to work and study and find a bettter job -- basically. <br />
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So i'm enjoying the thought that life could be better for me and i'm still relatively young enough (in long term scheme of things) to make things right, or as right as they could be now. - thanks for listening.

YOur welcome :) So, how are things going for you now? Have you done anything new or out of the ordinary for you? Well, hope you're doing good and enjoying life.

Thanks for the comment Evergreen, and thanks for being my first EP friend, we may have alot in common.

Awe, SNap. I wrote you a comment, but my comp messed up. lol,srry bout that. Anyways, its never too late for change; a change in a positive direction. YOu can do it just StOP w/e negative cycle your doing. OH, and give yourself credit that YOU have a job n you're working. :) YOUr being productive in that aspect. As for social skills mine SUCk too :D ha ur not the only one. The trick is to step out of your comfort zone maybe try greeting a service clerk the next time you buy something ex. Good morning :) how are you today? Little steps first; remember " the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." -Lao-Tzu :) Oh, and accept yourself and your life don't judge it. Good LUck!! I hope I've helped you in some way.