Lost My 11 Year Old Son To Cancer Not Even 2 Weeks Ago, I Do I Cope??

Hi im 29 my only son cameron passed away almost 2 weeks ago from a brain tumour he has been fighting for a year he was diagnosed with a rare aggressive brain tumour last year september doctors told us this is not good, he had an op to remove it that went all well then he had to recover for 5 weeks before starting radiotherapy and chemo, the day before he went to start treatment he got sick again doctors told us the tumour was back and that the treatment would not work, we went a head the next day for radiotherapy and chemo then scans every 2 months great news the tumour was going then 6 months latter the tumour had gone, even doctors were amazed, then a few weeks latter he started feeling numb down one side of the face the whole time he was on treatment me and my husband were planning our wedding as he my son wanted me and his step dad to be a real family and he couldnt wait so i took him back to hospital to tell them his face was numb and they told me it could be from treatment then told me his last scan showed a small mass we were due to get married in 2 days he sent us away with steriods to get him threw the wedding and the doctor said he didnt want to jusmp straght in. the next day my poor son started feeling strange the doctor said the mass is in a differnt place and would effect his balance he couldnt walk straght bless him, he got threw the wedding day and really made him self have a good time dancing even though he was not well 2 days latter we went back to hospital as my son just was so sick, so a emergentcy scan was done the bad news was there he has had a bleed and its a tumour again.. we stayed in hospital for a week to drain all his fluid out of his brain then we was due to go and stay at the childrens hospics as my son loved it there, the day we were going our doctor told me that there was no point in treatment and that he had 2 weeks to live, i wouldnt belive it and i insisted in chemo asap, we had to wait 3 days for trreatment to arrive but my boy just got worse everyday and died a week and a half latter it was the worst thing to watch, i miss him so much, he told me he wanted to live his life im just so lost he is my only child.. anyone know anyone i can talk to
sparklelolly sparklelolly
26-30, F
9 Responses Oct 31, 2010

This story made me cry. Poor baby boy.... sorry for your loss x

I lost the light of my life, Thomas 3 weeks ago. He was the inspiration in so many lives. He was 13 years old when he died and he battled cancer for nearly 11 years. Thomas endured 5 brain surgeries, countless chemotherapy treatments and 2 different radiation regimes. He was the kindest, the sweetest, the strongest boy in the world. We had the closest relationship anyone could ever have. We talked, snuggled, cried, laughed, vacationed. Did everything together. He was my only child and I am so glad he was my only one. We shared more in those 13 years than most share in a lifetime. I can't wait until I am reunited w him. I hope God is good and allows me at least that much. I miss u, Thomas more than words could ever say.

((((((((hug)))))))) I am so sorry that you had to go through that. (((((((((hug)))))))))))

I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot even fathom what you're going through having lost a child but it seems as though *skeleigh* has some good advice. Keep writing, allow yourself to fully grieve and take heart that you are not alone even though it feels like that in your heart. <br />
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In time you will find peace within...it all takes time.

i just dont no what to do with my self, i dont want to do anything any more i have been strong for my son now i have my husband but its not the same i need my baby back

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 12-year-old son to a brain tumor two years ago. I wish I had the right words to tell you that would make it all better, but I don't. I'm still waiting on them myself. The one thing I can tell you that has helped me is to write about him, and never stop talking about him. My daughter was 14 when Keeghan died. We have never shied away from talking about Keeghan. If we see a movie he liked, or a commercial, tv show, etc., we'll laugh and say, "Keeghan LOVED that commercial!" If I hear a song he liked, I turn it up and smile (and cry) through the whole thing.<br />
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The thing you have to remember is that tears are cleansing. I still cry at some point almost every day. And some days, I cry ALL day. There is nothing at all wrong with doing that. You will never stop missing him, and you will never stop wondering why this happened to him. The key is to never stop remembering him. <br />
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I keep a photo of Keeghan on my desk right beside my computer. Under it is a piece of paper with the following statement that a friend of mind said to me. It says, "Your love for him and the extent of your loss is not measured in your tears for him, but in the life that you lead without him." I cry, but I am also still fighting for him. I am fighting to find a cure in any I can.<br />
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Allow yourself time to grieve. It is all still so soon. The holidays are going to be especially hard. Let yourself cry, but don't shut out those around you who want to be there for you. People will say stupid, annoying things because they don't know what the right thing TO say is. Accept that they are trying to help you, and ignore their ignorant words. <br />
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I wish I had more to offer. My best to you.

BTW...I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts.

I just lost my son on October 22, a month before his 8th birthday. He fought four long and hard years to rid leukemia. My heart hurts. I very much feel your pain and it sucks.

I just lost my son on October 22, a month before his 8th birthday. He fought four long and hard years to rid leukemia. My heart hurts. I very much feel your pain and it sucks.