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How Am I Supposed To Carry On Without Him?

I have recently lost my husband to cancer and i am not coping well at all, he was such a wonderful man and i wish it had been me that went,he was given so much false hope this year and i was encouraging him to be patient but then the bombshell was dropped.......no hope, all i think of now is the pain he went through,he was so brave and accepted everything so much better than me but i just cant get this anger out of me, i want so much to punch the life out of that doctor who told him he would be ok, god i loved him so very much............
chris53 chris53 56-60, F 3 Responses Jul 10, 2012

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I understand completely how you feel. I just lost my husband after a very short illness that several doctors bungled badly initially. We'd had hope for him too, but two days after Christmas all hope started to blow away. I miss mine so very much. I'm sorry for you, my heart goes out to you.....

For you, your anger is directed towards the doctor. For me, my anger was directed towards my wife's bother and sister. Who when she was ill could not bother to visit once. Could not bother to send a card or a note asking how she was. Could not be bothered to call as her health was failing.



But had no problem showing up the day that my wife passed away asking for different personal items of hers. And then got offended when I told them to come back in a couple of weeks when I could make a more sensable choice as to what I wanted to give away.



Then neather her bother or sister bothered to come to the funeral to show thier respects. But they were there with thier hands out looking for my wife's belongings. Needless to say all that they received were family photos. Most of which I found laying on our front lawn after they left.



Then the lies and rumors that they told about me to the rest of the family were so nasty that a lot of family members stopped talking to me. But a few who know better still maintain contact with me . But the damage is done. And I am better off with them out of my life.



Life does move on. I questioned that when my wife passed away. But it has a way of doing just that, moving on. And you must move on with it. I am sure that he would not want you to give up. But to move on as life requires. The first steps are the hardest. But one step after another. And soon you will find how far you have come. And realize how far you need to go.



God bless my dear. You are not alone, regardless of how it feels at times.

all i can say is what i had to do



i have lived the rest of my life as i thought my wife and her mother would have wanted me too



I have tried to make sure the things we talked about as a young couple and the fears she had for our group of kids growning up that she wanted to do for the in our group as we grew came to pass.



made sure they got the first homes with no issues made sure there kids had the grants to go tot he school of there choices



The hard part has been the last few years when i have come to understand i am the last of out group to be alive. last fall it realy hit home with me when the young girl that used to live with us as we grew from adult children to real adults

passed away from stage 4 cancer



we ran into each other about 10 years ago when I went to a firerial service for a friends grandchild that had been raped and killed by the boy next door he was 10 she was 7



my friend told me to be careful as this group flew a different patch as we parked we saw lots of people and even cops taking picture as we walked inthe the church for the service alli heard was a scream of a lady and this little days came rinning to me and jumped in the air just like she was 5 years old again for me to catch her



and that really seemed to break the ice there



ilost my wife on 1/14/1967 and her mother our mother took her own life the same day thinking both the kids she had brought up from age 12 were dead as i ad been reported the day before as killed in action



my wife was killed as she walked to her office in a so called safe area in siagon by a child bomb



the term child adult basic means for us we became engaged at 12.5 and she became my wife at 13 out of love we worked full time with eachother and full time school think we were the first kids to have a joint checking account at 12.5 years old, we never couldhave children and we both knew it and we tried to abopt a child at 17 but were turned down only due to our ages