Losing Respect For the Man You Love

I have gone that extra mile for the man that I love and respect.  But I have found that when his feelings for me were not mutual,  he would continue to do things to upset me.  Time after time I would forgive him.  But there was that "one time too many" and I made the decision to discontinue the relationship.  Perhaps for you there will be that "one time too many" and you realize you cannot take anymore, so you make the decision to leave.  Remember, when a woman is fed up, there is not much you can do about it.  

Every ones situation is different, but I am going to talk about some behavior patterns that can lead a woman to lose respect for her man.  Which "holics" can you identify with?  Perhaps you can even come up with other ones that you want to share.  I realize that this can work both ways, the man can also lose respect for the woman he loves.  

Work-A-Holic - You are constantly left home with the children day after day, night after night.  it is important that he brings home the money to support the family, but he is not balanced with his work and family responsibilities. Most of the time it feels like you are raising the kids all by yourself.  He expresses more concern for the business and employees at work than he does his family. His priorities are all screwed up.

Al-Co-Holic - You notice he hugs that bottle of whiskey more than he hugs you. Perhaps he is constantly working on a six-pack of beer on the couch  while watching TV and not at the gym lifting weights to get that six pack body.  The alcohol might even change his personality from nice daddy to a mean, raging crazed maniac.

Boss-A-Holic - He treats you like you are a kid by constantly setting rules and telling you what you can and can't do.  You are told to conform to his program or else.  You begin to lose your identity and no longer do the things you enjoy.  He embarrasses you in front of your friends by loud talking you and putting you down.

Lie-A-Holic  -  You find you no longer can trust him.  He constantly has late nights out with the fellas.  He doesn't answer the phone because he's working late or the battery on his phone died or he just didn't hear the phone ring those then times you called.  He takes business trips several times a month and he can't take his spouse because there will be so much work to do and/or the expenses don't cover anyone else.  You might have even caught him cheating a time or two and he has told you he will never do it again, but the signs are still there.  

Lazy-A-Holic -  The lazy man syndrome situation can come in several ways.  Do both your mate and you work?  If this is the case, then both of you should come home and help with the chores, the kids, grocery shopping and other errands.  Some men feel that if they work, they are not responsible for any other family duties.  This means you have double duty.  Another situation is the woman works and the man is home all day, and when the woman gets home from work there is a big dent in the couch or his favorite chair.  He has enjoyed his day relaxing, watching TV and doing the things he likes, especially sleeping.  You politely ask for his assistance and he refuses.  Where is the love and respect?  You wipe your brow and continue your second job around the house.  Too much of this type of behavior from the man you love can cause you to lose respect for him.

Drug-A-Holic -  The two of you were doing just fine and then you notice a change in his behavior.  You excuse his change in behavior based on the fact that he appears to be under a lot of pressure.  Other habits begin like not having his share of the money to help with bills, late nights out, irritability or oversleeping.  You might even begin noticing things missing from around the house.  His habit begins to overtake him and the obvious is present.  He is on drugs and refuses to get help.  Your relationship spirals downhill and you continue to lose respect for your man.

Neat Freak-A-Holic  -  While you are dating, it is great to have someone come around and help you get organized.  You had been doing everything yourself and it was hard to keep up.  Now someone is there to help you.  You are so in love that you bond as one and legally seal your commitment.  You allowed him to get your home organized and find out that he is so good at it because he is a neat freak.  It begins from the time you wake up and making sure the bed is made up and the pillows are fluffed just right to making sure you always look like the perfect wife and no dirty dishes are in the sink.  There is never a moment to sit down and relax in your picture perfect living room because for one, you cannot sit in the living room and you are always picking up behind the kids, your man or yourself.  A nagging man can be even more annoying than a nagging woman.  Your best times are when you are away from home and him.  

Sex-A-Holic  -  When you were married, the two became one, and you chose do do almost everything together.  But there is a time and place for everything. Having sex is quite an enjoyable activity and when done in moderation and with mutual consent, it is quite pleasurable.  Some men love to do it all of the time no matter what type of day you have had.  You could have had a bad day at work, trouble with the kids or hungry because you haven't had a chance to eat all day....and he is still demanding what he wants.  Communicate your concerns and make it quite clear how these habits affect you before you lose your love and respect for your man.

If you are distressed as a result of any of the situations mentioned, talk it out and get counseling. I do encourage people to work out their problems and try and stay together.  Help him to understand how it is affecting your relationship.  It doesn't pay to argue or try to pay him back because this will only make things worse. 

Remember....when a woman is fed up, there is not much you can do about it.  She has lost the respect for the man she loves.

shasha10 shasha10
51-55, F
3 Responses Jul 9, 2009

I no longer attract such people into my life.

Great, me either. That is why I wrote this. Some lessons learned in life.

How come no one has joined this group and only one kind soul made a comment???

ihave respect to all people until i am give a reason not to respect . i am constantly amazed how people selfish and disrespectful throw away the most important gift they will ever have the love of a good woman i would give anything to have that love mid you im really not much of a catch being disabled the women are not pounding down my door. but istill have hope.