Cancer has taken some very special people in my life away. it also has scared others in my family.

I don't remember when or who cancer took first.... but i know it slowly killed my step father. that was the hardest person to lose.

let me start of by saying my step father in my eyes saved my mother from a horrible marriage. he help her become a stronger person and for that i am greatful. he took me and my sisters and treated us as his own he had no other children than us. his mother had passed his father lived in an assisted living ... he had three sisters only close with one and a neice and her three children. I remember when i was about 13 my mom and step dad where talking when i came in from school i was told to go to my room and clean it of course i didn't i sat on the top of the stairs and listened... they where trying to figure out how to tell me and my sister that he was going to have his kidney removed in three days. i was so hurt,so mad... i walked down the stairs and told them don't lie to use share it with us ... because to find out something like that was going on in three days... isn't right i told them i didn't want to know after it was done and over they told my younger sister.he had kidney cancer they had taken out almost all of his kidney. he recovered quite well.but it never seemed to fail. once again a new cancer came back to reach havack in his life. skin cancer was there very first that ever showed years before he know my mother... then the kidney cancer. than non hodgkin lymphoma for 10 years he battled... he had a intestion condition not sure what is was called but he explained it as poison sacks inside his intestions that if they where to tear open he would die in an hour if not treated. he also had a skin disease where all his skin looses its elasticty... he gets rubbery... when i was 16ish he had gone to have sugery he had a hiatal hernia where they tried to do the surgery to fix it but his stats kept going down so they told him there was nothing they could do til he was stable enough.... a few days later i had come in from school my mom was nagging him so i asked what was going on.she told me she had been begging him to go to the er because he wasn't feeling well . after she said that he had come out of the bathroom soaking wet with sweat ... my mom asked if he stuck his head in the shower... as he clutched to the door way . i was so angry in that moment that he was being so stubborn. he said no why i told him if i had to get someone to take him he was going he said no i walked out the door to my uncle door and asked him to please take him to the er because my mother had to work as the boss that night so she would meet them up there shortly after she situated everything.he went to the closest er they sent him to the bigger hospital by ambulance he was having a heart attack.... that hospital transfered him to another hospital ... both local hospitals didnt have the means to help him... so in the ambulance they stablize him long enough and then another heart attack.... the hour and a half ride to the hospital he had 5 heart attacks. they rush him into sugery. he recovers... by the time im 17 i have seen this man knocked down by cancer and he picks himself back up... i get pregnant and by this time he has battled for a good 5 years already.he starts to make goals to live til i want to your son born he makes it . i want to see you graduate he makes it. i get married but we live states away so he congradulates me.i get pregnant 2008 two years after he started the goals.... im going to make it to see my granddaughter born. he makes it yet again so weak so ate up with the lymphoma.. bearly breathing the cancer has almost cut off his vocals. my sister is due to graduate in a year or two he tells he i'll try but i don't know if i'll make it he is in tears telling her he'll try 2009...he cant get outta bed he has hospic there he finds out that the nurse is his cousin.months pass i call to check on him he is so sick he can barley talk... just mainly mumbles that i know are i'll have your mother call and i love younger sister stays home at night to help him early november he is up useing the bathroom how he gets to the bathroom is hard to even immagine but he makes it she hears him falls she goes in to help him he has lost so much wiegh he can fit in between the tub and the toilet that are about twoo feet apart she has to get the neighbor to help her .on her birthday he is so sick it is the begining of the end.. he promises her he will nott die on her birthday.... i get a phone call to come home and be with him... as im getting my family ready i get a phone call from my sister who i dont talk to much. she never cries... saying he's gone. the day after my younger sister birthday....

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Jan 23, 2013