Give It Some More Time...

I love the elderly, I really do....

Recently the change in stores and restaurants in our shopping district has attracted a more mature crowd. This has given me new knowledge about our elders.

I have noticed that they frequently fart in public. I used to wonder if somehow they maybe didn't know it, couldn't "feel" or
Hear it, seemed logical as age can affect those senses but, upon further thought I know there is no way they can't smell it.

Everyone in the vicinity can smell it and we all look at one another, slyly giving each other the "is this really happening" and the "oh that really smells bad" looks on our faces, as no-one wants to embarrass the senior citizen that has just dropped the bomb. This experience seems to be happening much too frequently to not be some sort of planned attack by these people... I am beginning to think all the bran muffins and coffee isn't just a dietary preference but a biological weapon.

Vivagalore Vivagalore
31-35, F
5 Responses May 12, 2012

If I had a nickel for every time I walked into a cloud-o-flatulence in a store, I'd be rich...hehe...I won't lie and say I've never ah, cut and run. I did, however, pull off a ventriloquist fart of sorts on my best friend--he was bent over digging for a dozen eggs around Easter time and I deftly sidled up nearby and ripped a LOUD one--his butt was so perfectly poised in the air, too. He hit his head upon standing up but was already laughing so hard he turned beet red and we continued all the way (along with about 6 witnessess) to the parking lot...heck, to this day we'll giggle. And as for geriatric gas, my grandmother, who'll be 80 in April spent over a decade without being ABLE to fart due to Crohn's ... fortunately, her last surgery and the treatment Cimzia has given her back her ability to "scatologically behave." My grandfather will just bring in a can of air freshener and without a word, set it down next to her. Like HIS expulsions don't stink...
P.S. always be ware of descending to the toilet seat and farting at the same effect, you fart in your own face. ;-) Enough from me.

Be loud and proud. It's a gift you give unto the world. Own it like you mean it, though like great art it is not always appreciated in its day.

Vegans drop some of the worst farts...I am vegan.... Almost as bad as a dogfart.

<---- not a true vegan but, I practice a RAW diet 70/30

Ooh! I try to eat about 50% raw...but the calls my NAAAAME!

I have chemical phobia

O.o hmm...My body is a science project...


2 More Responses

lmfao jeeeebus..... so true!

As my father got older he thoroughly enjoyed farting really loudly in very crowded elevators at Christmas time. Everyone couldn't miss what he had done but weren't certain who did it. Joy to the world. My mother as I think was a defensive measure would fart as she walked along in rapid fire sequence. What wonderful memories!