PART ONE: Crazy Little Thing Called LoveI don’t want to say I have bad luck when it comes to love. Let’s just say, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been in love three times in my life (well, four, but that was when I was 5 and thought Audrey Tamashiro was the coolest girl in my kindergarten class because she could beat all the guys in arm wrestling). I will write a separate story for each of the loves of my lives because each taught me so much, and changed me in so many ways (both good and not so good). I think I’m very picky and very careful when it comes to relationships. My parents are divorced and I saw the awful effects of a bad relationship. So I vowed never to take relationships for granted.
I have many preconceived notions of what it takes to make a relationship work. For one, it is commitment. You have to work at it and you can’t take it for granted. Love doesn’t just happen. People think that romance is like the movies, you meet, you fall in love, and everything just works out. Well, as I’m sure most of us have learned the hard way, it doesn’t work like that at all. Once the initial infatuation period is over, if you don’t have a solid foundation, your relationship crumbles. And even if you have that, if you don’t work on it, then the stresses of everyday life erodes even the strongest relationships if you don’t work at maintaining and making it even stronger. People become complacent, they start taking others for granted. And before you know it, their relationship is so weak, that it can’t withstand the storms of jealousy, insecurities, and finances, just to name a few.
Being in a relationship for me is a serious matter. I’ve dated quite a lot, and I enjoy casual relationships with girls. It takes me awhile to really open up and a lot to make me want to start an actual relationship with a girl. But once, I decide to be in a relationship I am totally committed. And I expect the same from my girlfriend.
For this reason, when we break up, it’s never an easy thing, even if it’s my decision, and especially when we have no control over what happens. The love of my lives mean the world to me. Loving them has brought me so much love and happiness, and built lifelong cherished memories. But they have also left me emotionally drained. I know I will fall in love again, and I know when I do, it will be that head over heels, back flip kind of love. But for now, I’m taking it easy. I need a break, just for a bit.