I Often Feel Worthless

I am struggling with feelings of failure, worhtlessness and helplessness. I feel like I am maladjusted to society and to a working environment. I have zero organisation skills, I cannot plan ahead or anticipate or take initiative. I am always scared of getting things wrong. I have never been able to hold a job for longer than a year (except my current job - 17 months). In all the jobs I have had, I have always had problems coping with the workload, organisation, relationships with colleagues etc etc.

I also feel like I am not good girlfriend material, let alone wife material. I have mental health issues and feel unstable. I feel like I cannot be "normal".

I fell in love with a man who left me after 5 years of a semi-abusive relationship. Then my life fell into a spiral of depression, self-destruction, and vain attempts to meet a new man. I ended up sleeping with more people than I ever had in my life before - because, pathetically, it was the only way I could think of to make a man love me (and of course, it didn't work, and I was dumped time and again by men I had told myself would finally be the one, the one I'd spend the rest of my life with).

I don't feel THIS low all the time... but often. And I don't know how to feel better about myself.

There is a part of my mind that believes I am actually a loveable, valuable person. But it's like my heart can't believe it.
DancingFox DancingFox
31-35, F
6 Responses Feb 17, 2011

I also feel worthless, I had a job for almost 11 years and had some issues that made me quit, and now I feel worthless but i am too scared to work again feeling like I will fail. I know i am a good worker but too scared to try.

The thing that MantisRelgiosa is referring to here is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).<br />
If you google it you can read the step-by-step instructions & do it on yourself. A friend of mine who is a psychologist uses it. It works =)

I feel exactly the same, though I have never even had a job, or a boyfriend, for fear that they would both "leave" me, anyway.<br />
I have just recently heard about this thing called "tapping" that's supposed to help you get rid of strong subconsciously-fed emotions, like fears of all sorts, or feelings of worthlessness, anger etc.<br />
It's ba<x>sed on "energy points" in the body, and I have only done one serious session of about 10 minutes, and while I did, indeed, feel much calmer and my feelings subsided, it only lasted for about an hour or so..they say you have to do it every day, so dunno...truth is I feel stupid doing it, because it looks so ridiculous. And find it difficult to believe in it. <br />
It's done by people who are connected to that whole "The Secret" philosophy.

That's exactly it, CrabnPickle. Thinking it in your mind doesn't mean you feel it in your heart.<br />
Thanks for adding me ^_^

Sorry to hear you're so low, Clem. From what I know of you, you seem a very loveable, valuable person. But I know how it is when your mind thinks one thing but you feel another - I often think 'You know, you're a loveable person really', but I never feel the confidence and self-esteem that you'd expect would come with that.<br />
<br />

My story is pretty similar. I wonder what it feels like to have confidence, to be "normal", to not be afraid of something all the time.