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Wish That I Would Like Myself More...

I have had a low self-esteem for the better part of my life for about 8 years now I always think of myself as fat and ugly, thinking that I will never be loved by anyone in my life no matter what.  In the last 4 years I stopped acting like I was self piteous, and I put a mask on, but that mask didn't truly help with anything because on the inside I was just so empty.  I don't know how one can be empty and have such emotional pain I couldn't do anything to stop the pain except to just give up and die slowly for on the inside I was already dead.  Now I began to get more emotions but they never were good ones I was either empty, angry, depressed, or anxious, and I began to cut myself.  So I started to see a therapist because I was tired of all of the pain, he is very helpful, and nice he perscribed me to lexapro which lessened the pain a bit.  And later on he diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder I'm scared and I have a long road ahead of me but I'm trying to look up and face my fears unlike before.
Borderlineboy Borderlineboy 18-21, M Jun 27, 2011

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