My LifeFirst and foremost, I understand that a lot of people have had it really rough in here and I hate the idea of whining about things knowing somebody has had it much worse. Thought I'd give this a go though seeing as I'm pretty bummed out.
Basically I'm a 26 year old bloke who grew up in a small town and didn't fit in with the other kids as a child. This of course resulted in being bullied, being called names and feeling completely isolated from most people my age. They'd convinced me I was ugly and never get a girlfriend. It got to the stage during my final year at high school I was thinking suicide almost every day - clearly not healthy thoughts at all. I don't think I'd be able to forgive these people for what they did to me.
Of course my parents didn't really help at all. My father is a useless wimp of a man who bullies my mother and pretty much drained all my self-confidence from an early age. He bullied me into doing stuff but of course denies it to this day. I should add that my mother almost left my dad when I was 12 but didn't. She now spends most of her time on anti-depressants and drinking vodka all day (I'm being serious).
Things definitely changed for the better when I moved away from my small home town to a nearby city to start uni. I met a whole bunch of cool people, tried new things and had a lot of fun. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I'm now back living in my parents place due to this recession. It's been really tough. I feel like I'm recovering from my very bad childhood and still haven't quite got over it. I find it very difficult to bond with people. I've never been a serious relationship and feel very uncomfortable around girls. I can't see myself getting married or having kids. I'd never want to put someone through what I went through as a kid.
I guess there's an upside to this though. It's like I'm constantly battling to make things better in my life and I'm very slowly getting there. At the very least I'm alive and able to take things forward from here on. Where most people my age are looking to settle down and have kids, I'm still trying to reclaim all the lost time that was ******* cheated from me when I was younger.
Thanks for looking. Hopefully reading this might help you out.