You Know,

It started very young. Being a shy girl. Constantly comparing myself to others. Feeding off of their personalities, wanting to be like them instead of focusing on myself and what amazing feats I had to offer.

To this day I still struggle with this. I am drawn to other people over myself. I am drawn to their personalities, and watch as others draw to them. Again, neglecting myself.

To be interesting, you must become the person of interest. ;) To be interesting, you must know who you are, you must go after your passions, go after your interests. And you must be comfortable with who you are, and not care about what others think of
That is the key to self esteem. Being comfortable in your own shoes and not GIVING a damn about what others think.

Okay, so...

How do I get there?
Deee1930 Deee1930
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 5, 2012

I would say that we INFJs need to stick together, but I'm sure we'd all rather be alone. Maybe we could all unite, but at a safe distance.

I like that idea. I think that's why I've always connected to the online world more than anything. It kept me at a safe distance =)

Finding myself in the same category, this is something I've often wondered about. Not so much how to fix myself, but where this lack of self esteem came from in the first place. Sort of a nature vs. nurture type of wondering.<br />
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I was raised in the very definition of the classic middle class household. The worst thing I can say about my upbringing is that is was so stereotypical whitebread america that it was bland. No drama, no trauma. So I can't say my life experience brought anything to bear on my lack of self esteem, which manifests itself in a total lack of confidence. My parents were always there for me. Didn't help.<br />
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One thing that did help, in a way, was doing the Myers-Briggs personality test. It by no means "fixed" me, but it did help me understand myself a little better. I'm an INFJ, which predisposes me to be self-focused. More comfortable with my inner-life, than making connections. Very deep feeling, and introspective.<br />
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But still some days are hard. For me, the worst thing about not having any self esteem (self confidence) is that it's hard to give yourself credit for the good things. No matter if I had a good day, or accomplished something really terrific. Instead of looking at the positive side, I always chide myself for missing that one thing I could have done differently, or else I assume I just got totally lucky, rather than giving myself credit for actually accomplising something.<br />
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I guess all in all this post probably wasn't a hell of lot of help to you was it? Makes the point, though.

Hey, I got the same results in the Myers Briggs ;)