I Am Working to Improve Self Esteem.

Hi, I am new. I think my self esteem has always been low. I am trying to improve it. I have always been shy and do not like to draw attention to myself. I think some childhood experiences has contributed to this. Also I have only felt truely loved once in my life. Got dumped and this added to my low self esteem. I have always tried so hard to be a nice person. But I don't seem to be able to connect with people well. I guess I have an expectation of how I would like to be treated and because sometimes I feel that people are mean or cruel then I think there is something wrong with me. So now I just try to nurture myself and learn about myself and what I need. Maybe I am just not connecting with people that are like me. I also think it is very important to change your thinking. If you are nervous or worried then you bring it into your being. I try to be oblivious to what I think others are thinking. Its like if I worry that I am going to trip, then I will. I have recently started taking medications for anxiety and they have calmed my nerves down a bit and this has helped. I have also been seeing a therapist and she tells me that it is my negative self talk and she tells me to say STOP to myself when I talk negatively to myself in my head. Anyway, I would love to talk and share. I am a very compassionate person.


Cassandra Cassandra
51-55, F
7 Responses Apr 10, 2007

Sounds good.....Your appreciated............God bless you.........:)

I completely understand where you coming from, I am on the same boat, when I was young I was an outcast at school and I am an outcast at work. I think we are too nice and people take advantage of us, at the end, we are the victims and sufferers. I'm sure that you are loved by your family, keep your head up.

Wow,<br />
Thank you for all your comments. I know I wrote this some time ago.<br />
I believe I have come to understand that I am sensitive...and that is okay. That is who I am.<br />
I believe some very negative experiences have contributed to me doubting myself. I spent 20 years with an alcoholic husband and I was so afraid of him and felt trapped. So I guess I can understand why my nerves are shot.<br />
Thanks again, it is nice to know that I am not alone. I think that is what helps me the most.<br />

Smokeseek just told the exact thing. Adding to that, compassion is a great quality out of which right things will happen at the right place at the right time. Some must have taken advantage out of that, never mind .You will be loved., loved, loved and protected by people whom you had never. known in the past.Destiny may surprise you like this.

Hey Cassandra, thank you for sharing. I am pretty similar, and building self-esteem is challenging, especially after years of struggling. It is possible though. My own self-esteem is slowly improving. I might add something that has worked for me.--- a long time ago some one told me "if wanted self esteem - then do something esteemable (not a word i know)" In short do positive things for myself that make me feel good about who you are. It works well for me.

I would second that! Change something about yourself that you really don't like or do something that makes you feel good. I got my boobs done and it made a world of difference. :)

Yes, I am definitely relating to ya'll. My brother can be very cruel but in a very subtle way that makes you look "sensitive" and that your taking it wrong. My dad on the other hand will say something flat out rude and then laugh because I'm supposed to know he is just "joking." My mom on the other hand is bluntly rude and the minute I show I am just a bit upset she floods me with apologies and then makes me feel bad about the whole thing when it was her fault. It wouldn't be a big deal if it only happened once a month or so but it happens every time she emails or calls me (she is also bipolar). Anyway, I appreciate your post. I am new as well. :) Thanks for the tip about telling oneself to "STOP" when thinking negatively, I will have to use that.

Interesting!As if u r describing me.I think tmy problem is when ppl r rude i think something is wrong with me!!Above that,my people r loud!they shout and fight and I don't like loud voices so they think i'm weak or scared for I don't shout back!I wonder if I should act like them sometimes!but it's just not my nature...