I Think Ive Always Had Low Self Esteem!

I thought id right my experience with low self esteem as i really need to get it off my chest even if its with people on here who dont know me! Im a 19year old female who has never had any feeling of self worth, i think it springs from when i was a toddler and my father left, i never knew the guy and cant even think what he looked like but i think from that point on ive always felt that people who are around me or love me will soon realise that im not worthy of their time and will leave. Also I constantly compare myself to others when im out shopping, clubbing etc and i now create any excuse that i can to not have to go places with my boyfriend as i fear he will see that im nothing compared to other girls out there, I also have become detached from my friends over time as i can never be bothered with going out together and socialising especially now that they have new friends as i find it hard to interact with new people as i know that i will even annoy them or they will dislike me. Ive also recently dropped out of college and now just have a part time job thats going no where- my life feels like its becoming pointless and will never go anywhere any neither will any of my relationships. Is this severe low self esteem or a mixture of that and depression? I dont know what to do next but i need help before i give up on everything completely -.-
lauraleigh14 lauraleigh14
18-21, F
May 17, 2012